Paddy is your stereotypical Irishman and this is a collection of funny Paddy jokes.
Sinead and Paddy have been married for a few years. But something has been troubling Sinead, and the time has come to get it off her mind. Sinead says, “Paddy, we’ve been married a long time now. You’re a good lookin man and all, and I think you’ve slept with […]
Jokes tagged as: Paddy Jokes
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Paddy is your stereotypical Irishman and this is a collection of funny Paddy jokes.
Paddy is slang for Patrick, and referring to someone as “Paddy” loosely implies that the person is a yokel, more often than not drunk, as thick as two short planks, and a believer in God and miracles. You couldn’t wish for a better subject for some Irish jokes could you!
As well as Paddy, Irish jokes and stories often contain characters called Mick, Murphy, Sean or Liam, all common Irish names. When it comes to Paddy and Murphy jokes, we have one of the best collections around.
You can find more classic funny Irish jokes in our Murphy Jokes and Patrick Jokes collections.
Paddy and Seamus were watching an old documentary about Jacques Cousteau, the famous scuba diver and conservationist. Seamus turned to Paddy and said, “You know Paddy, I always wondered why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?” Paddy replied, “You are a dumb fool at times Seamus. If […]
One day, Murphy and Paddy went to a restaurant for dinner and ordered two steaks. As soon as the waiter brought out steaks, Murphy quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself and put it n his plate replied Paddy wasn’t happy about that and said, “When are you going […]
Did you hear about Paddy’s accident? Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork, when he accidentally cut off all 10 of his fingers. He had someone there bandage his hands up, then made his way to the emergency room in Cork’s hospital. The doctor took a look at […]
Paddy was walking through the customs area at the airport, carrying a large bottle. “What have you there?” said a suspicious customs officer. “T’is Lourdes holy water. I am bringing it home with me”, said Paddy. The officer took the bottle, opened it and tried some. “Why it’s Irish whiskey”, […]
Two Irishmen were walking along a street in London, browsing in all the shop windows that they passed. Paddy looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye. The sign read, “Suits @ £5.00 each, Shirts @ £2.00 each, trousers @ £2.50 per pair”. […]
This is the scene one day in an Irish courthouse, during a murder case. The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, “Sean O’Flaherty, you are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.” Suddenly, a voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “You bastard!” The judge, […]
Michael from Dublin appeared on Irish television on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”. Towards the end of the program he had already won €500,000. “You have done very well so far”, said the show’s presenter, “but for a million Euros you have only got one life line left – […]
One fine summer day, Paddy was found dead in his back yard. As the weather was a bit on the warm side, the wake was held down to only two days, so his mortal remains wouldn’t take a bad turn. At last his friends laid him in the coffin, nailed […]
One evening, on his way home from work, Paddy popped into his local pub for a drink. The barman poured him a pint of Guinness and asked him if he wanted to be in a raffle. “What’s the raffle for?” asked Paddy. “It’s for a poor widow with 13 kids”, […]
