One evening, on his way home from work, Paddy popped into his local pub for a drink. The barman poured him a pint of Guinness and asked him if he wanted to be in a raffle. “What’s the raffle for?” asked Paddy. “It’s for a poor widow with 13 kids”, […]
Jokes tagged as: paddy
13 posts
Jokes and stories about Paddy, who is your stereotypical Irishman.
Paddy is slang for Patrick, and referring to someone as “Paddy” loosely implies that the person is a yokel, more often than not drunk, as thick as two short planks, and a believer in God and miracles.
As well as Paddy, Irish jokes and stories often contain characters called Mick, Murphy, Sean or Liam, all common Irish names.
Paddy is walking along the beach one day, when he sees an old bottle laying in the sand. He picks up the bottle and starts to brush it off, and with a huge puff of smoke, out pops a genie. The genie says to Paddy, “Since you have freed me […]
Paddy and Murphy drive their pickup truck into a lumberyard. Paddy walks in the office and says to the man on the desk, “We need some four by twos.” The clerk said, “You mean two by fours, don’t you?” Paddy said, “Just a minute, I’ll go check”, and he went […]
Murphy and Paddy were walking through the woods on their way back from the pub. In a the middle of the woods, they came across a sign that said, “Tree Fellers Wanted”. Murphy said, “Ye know Paddy, it’s a shame Michael isn’t here. We could have gotten the job”. Image […]
Uncle Seamus who was a seafarer all his life, and a while before he passed away, he made his nephews Mick and Paddy promise to bury him at sea. Sure enough, the time came when Uncle Seamus passed away, and Mick and Paddy decided that they ought to fulfill the […]
After dinner, Paddy raises his glass and toasts his girlfriend with the words “May you be in Heaven a half-hour before the devil knows you’re dead!” “What’s that mean?”. she asks him. “That is an authentic Irish toast” replies Paddy. “Oh. In that case”, she says, “Here’s to bread, eggs […]
Paddy saw his friend Murphy sitting in a pub and looking really distressed, so he went over and asked him what the problem was. Murphy replied, “My wife has gone and enrolled me in a bridge club.” “That doesn’t sound so bad to me” said Paddy, “so why are you […]
Mrs. Sullivan returned home to to Ireland from a vacation to France where she had taken a class in French Cooking. She tells her husband Seamus that she is going to prepare him a special meal for St. Valentine’s Day, and that he is to go down to Murphy’s Market […]
Paddy gets mugged one night. He was walking home from his local pub when all of a sudden from out of nowhere a thief jumped on him. The thief and Paddy began to wrestle. Over and over they rolled on the ground, and Paddy put up one heck of a […]
Two Irish builders are on a construction site, hammering floorboards down in a house. Paddy picks up a nail, realizes it’s upside down & throws it away. He carries on doing this until Murphy says “Why are you throwing those nails away?” “Because they’re upside down!” says Paddy. “You idiot,” […]