Paddy is your stereotypical Irishman and this is a collection of funny Paddy jokes.
Paddy and Murphy were working on a construction site that was a few miles away from home and they were staying in a hotel. They got up in the morning and Paddy went in the bathroom to take a shower before going down to breakfast. Murphy shouted out to him, […]
The Best Funny Paddy Jokes
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Paddy is your stereotypical Irishman and this is a collection of funny Paddy jokes.
Paddy is slang for Patrick, and referring to someone as “Paddy” loosely implies that the person is a yokel, more often than not drunk, as thick as two short planks, and a believer in God and miracles. You couldn’t wish for a better subject for some Irish jokes could you!
As well as Paddy, Irish jokes and stories often contain characters called Mick, Murphy, Sean or Liam, all common Irish names. When it comes to Paddy and Murphy jokes, we have one of the best collections around.
You can find more classic funny Irish jokes in our Murphy Jokes and Patrick Jokes collections.
If you were a fly on the wall you could have sensed the tension in Paddy’s house today. Paddy’s Wife: “What are you doing Paddy?” Paddy: “Nothing Siobhan, why?” Paddy’s Wife: “Nothing? You’ve been sitting there reading our marriage certificate for over an hour”. Paddy: “Well, I was looking for […]
Paddy and Murphy were out for a walk in the country to get some exercise and fresh air. Paddy said, “Did you see that?” “No”, said Murphy, “what was it?” “A huge bird of prey just flew overhead”, Paddy replied. “Oh”, Murphy said and they carried on walking. A few […]
Paddy’s lawn mower broke down and wouldn’t work, so his wife, Siobhan, kept hinting to him that he should get it fixed as the grass on their lawn was starting to get really long. Somehow though, Paddy always had something else to take care of first, his truck, the car, […]
The foreman on the contruction site ordered Paddy to dig a hole eight feet deep, so Paddy set about digging the hole. After the job was completed, the foreman returned and explained that he had made an error and the hole wouldn’t be needed after all. “Fill her up again, […]
Paddy took his goldfish in it’s bowl and went to see the vet. “I think my goldfish has got epilepsy” he told the vet. The vet took a look at the goldfish. He couldn’t see anything wrong with it and said to Paddy, “It seems calm enough to me”. Paddy […]
An Irishman was running down a railway track when he noticed a train approaching from behind him. He ran faster and faster, in fact he ran as fast as he could, probably faster than he had ever run before, but eventually the inevitable happened and the train caught up with […]
Paddy was walking home late at night through the woods, when he sees a woman standing in the dark shadows. “Thirty quid“, she whispers as he approaches her. Paddy had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it’s only thirty quid. So, he agrees, hands over […]
A police officer walked up to two Irish drunks in Galway and said to the first, “What’s your name and address young man?” “I’m Paddy O’Toole, of no fixed address”, the drunk replied. The police officer then turned to the second drunk and asked the same question. “I’m Seamus O’Hare […]
Murphy, Paddy & Seamus were sitting in a bar and the topic turned to dying and eventually to their discussing the words they would like to hear spoken over their coffins at their wakes. Seamus said, “I would like them to say ‘He was a wonderful family man. He always […]
