Paddy is your stereotypical Irishman and this is a collection of funny Paddy jokes.
Paddy was walking home late at night through the woods, when he sees a woman standing in the dark shadows. “Thirty quid“, she whispers as he approaches her. Paddy had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it’s only thirty quid. So, he agrees, hands over […]
Jokes tagged as: Paddy Jokes
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Paddy is your stereotypical Irishman and this is a collection of funny Paddy jokes.
Paddy is slang for Patrick, and referring to someone as “Paddy” loosely implies that the person is a yokel, more often than not drunk, as thick as two short planks, and a believer in God and miracles. You couldn’t wish for a better subject for some Irish jokes could you!
As well as Paddy, Irish jokes and stories often contain characters called Mick, Murphy, Sean or Liam, all common Irish names. When it comes to Paddy and Murphy jokes, we have one of the best collections around.
You can find more classic funny Irish jokes in our Murphy Jokes and Patrick Jokes collections.
A police officer walked up to two Irish drunks in Galway and said to the first, “What’s your name and address young man?” “I’m Paddy O’Toole, of no fixed address”, the drunk replied. The police officer then turned to the second drunk and asked the same question. “I’m Seamus O’Hare […]
Murphy, Paddy & Seamus were sitting in a bar and the topic turned to dying and eventually to their discussing the words they would like to hear spoken over their coffins at their wakes. Seamus said, “I would like them to say ‘He was a wonderful family man. He always […]
Paddy and Seamus met in a pub and the topic of discussion turned to the illness of a friend of theirs. “Poor Michael Hogan, I’m afraid he’s goin’ to die” says Paddy. “Shure, an’ why would he be dyin’?” asks Seamus. “Ah, he’s gotten so thin lately. You’re thin enough […]
Sinead and Paddy have been married for a few years. But something has been troubling Sinead, and the time has come to get it off her mind. Sinead says, “Paddy, we’ve been married a long time now. You’re a good lookin man and all, and I think you’ve slept with […]
Paddy and Seamus were watching an old documentary about Jacques Cousteau, the famous scuba diver and conservationist. Seamus turned to Paddy and said, “You know Paddy, I always wondered why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?” Paddy replied, “You are a dumb fool at times Seamus. If […]
One day, Murphy and Paddy went to a restaurant for dinner and ordered two steaks. As soon as the waiter brought out steaks, Murphy quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself and put it n his plate replied Paddy wasn’t happy about that and said, “When are you going […]
Did you hear about Paddy’s accident? Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork, when he accidentally cut off all 10 of his fingers. He had someone there bandage his hands up, then made his way to the emergency room in Cork’s hospital. The doctor took a look at […]
Paddy was walking through the customs area at the airport, carrying a large bottle. “What have you there?” said a suspicious customs officer. “T’is Lourdes holy water. I am bringing it home with me”, said Paddy. The officer took the bottle, opened it and tried some. “Why it’s Irish whiskey”, […]
Two Irishmen were walking along a street in London, browsing in all the shop windows that they passed. Paddy looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye. The sign read, “Suits @ £5.00 each, Shirts @ £2.00 each, trousers @ £2.50 per pair”. […]
