Murphy and Paddy were driving south from Dublin to Cork and they were both laughing and telling jokes as they were driving and were also drinking bottles of Guinness Stout. All of a sudden, Paddy saw lights flashing in his rear view mirror, it was the Garda, the Irish police […]
The Best Funny Paddy Jokes
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Welcome to our great collection of funny Paddy jokes. Paddy is your stereotypical country Irishman who is always getting into situations and often drunk.
Paddy is slang for Patrick, and referring to someone as “Paddy” loosely implies that the person is a yokel, more often than not drunk, as thick as two short planks, and a believer in God and miracles. You couldn’t wish for a better subject for some Irish jokes could you!
As well as Paddy, Irish jokes and stories often contain characters called Mick, Murphy, Sean or Liam, all common Irish names. When it comes to Paddy and Murphy jokes, we have one of the best collections around.
You can find more classic funny Irish jokes in our Murphy Jokes and Patrick Jokes collections.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotype#/media/File:Antisemitic_caricature_1873.jpg
Two Irish friends decided to go skydiving one day. So, they booked a jump at a local airfield, went up in the plane and both jumped out. Paddy hurtled through the air for a couple of minuted, then pulled his ripcord and the parachute opened perfectly, slowing him down and […]
It was late evening in a pub in County Cork in Ireland and the regulars were all toasting each other, Ireland and just about anything they could think of, all trying to come up with the best toast of the night. Paddy O’Reilly raised his glass of Guinness in the […]
So Paddy and Murphy were driving home from the pub, having spent the whole afternoon there, drinking one pint of Guinness after the other. Suddenly, Paddy started screaming, “Murphy, look out for the wall, stop the car, don’t hit the…” Well as you probably guessed, the car slammed into the […]
Paddy and Seamus were having a few pints of Guinness in their local pub and discussing their sexual conquests with local women. Paddy bragged to Seamus, “You know Seamus, I think I have had me every woman in this town, except of course me mother and me sister”. “Well Paddy,” […]
Paddy and Seamus decided to go for a motorcycle ride one sunny but frosty day in early Spring. They had been driving through the countryside for a while when Paddy, who was sitting behind Seamus, called out to him. “Seamus … Seamus … the wind is so cold it’s cutt’n […]
Paddy and Feargus bumped into each other while walking down the road and Paddy asked Feargus if he had seen Murphy recently. “Well to be sure I have and I haven’t”, Feargus replied. “What on earth do you mean by that Feargus”, Paddy asked. “Well”, Feargus replied. “It’s like this […]
Paddy and his wife Siobhan were visiting The Museum Of Modern Art for the first time. Siobhan turned to an attendant who was standing nearby and asked him, “I suppose this is one of those hideous representations that you call modern art?” “No madam”, the attendant replied, “that exhibit is […]
Paddy found out that his parents had been in a minor car accident, so he called his father to check that they were both ok. His father answered the phone and Paddy asked him what had happened. “I was driving and fell asleep at the wheel”, his father said, obviously […]
The O’Connell twins had bought a secondhand Mercedes car and were taking their friend Paddy for a spin in their new car. As they sped down the street, Paddy called out from the back seat, “I say, boys, what’s that thing sticking up on the bonnet of the car?” Seamus […]
Paddy saw a letter lying on his doormat. It said on the envelope “PLEASE DO NOT BEND”. So he spent the next two hours trying to figure out how to pick the darn thing up. Don’t you just love Irish jokes and Paddy jokes in particular! We have a large […]
Paddy had heard the stories of an amazing family tradition where it was said that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, each of them had walked across the lake to the pub on the far […]