We have a lot of jokes about old people here on The Laughline and this is our collection of Old Man Jokes.
It was Saturday night in the nursing home and one old man was feeling like a bit of action, despite his 80 or so years of age. He looked over at the old lady who was sitting next to him and said to her, “I know just what you need […]
The Best Funny Old Man Jokes
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We have a lot of jokes about old people here on The Laughline and this is our collection of Old Man Jokes.
When you think of an Old Man, lots of funny stories come to mind, from memory loss to using life experience to outwit someone much younger than them.
We hope you enjoy these Old Man Jokes and if you do, please help spread some laughter around by sharing our jokes on Social Media. Every bit counts and helps to get people laughing around the world. If you do share our content, thank you very much.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/kojotisko/10448349275
A wise old man retired and moved to a modest home that was near to a junior high school, seeking some peace and quiet in his older years. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment, then the new school year began. The very next […]
Do you want to know something? Old people need love too. So, an 85 year old widow went out on a blind date with a 90 year old man. When she returned to her daughter’s house later that night, her daughter thought that her Mother she seemed rather upset. “What […]
Murphy was well known to be a grumpy old man. He complained about everything and everyone. Murphy was what you might call a “right miserable old sod”. When Murphy had to go to the hospital for minor surgery, he never stopped criticizing the room, the food, the noise, literally everything. […]
The Cub Scout troop was half an hour late to its den meeting. The den leader repremanded them and asked them why they were so late. Little Johnny replied to the den leader, “we were helping an old man to cross the street”. “Oh I see”, the den leader said. […]
I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, which informed me that I can have sex at 73. You can’t begin to imagine how happy this made me, because I live at number 71. So it’s not far to go and it’s also not too far to walk home […]
This is a story about old men and golf that was emailed to me by an old golfing friend some years ago. If you are of a certain age and if you are from Florida or have played golf there, Florida being the “Snowbird zone” where wealthy people spend their […]
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his fortune. The old man sat back in his chair, fingered his expensive Italian suit jacket and said, “Well son, let me tell you…” So the old rich man told this story to the young man who just stood […]
An old man was critically ill and feeling that his death was near, he called his lawyer. “I want to become a lawyer”, the old man asked. “How much does it cost for that express degree you told me about?” “It costs $50,000”, the lawyer told him, then asked, “But […]
It started off as a fairly typical Saturday evening in the nursing home. The usual run of the mill game of bingo, followed by a sing-a-long afterwards. An old man, who was feeling rather frisky, given his advanced years, looked over and said to the old lady sitting next to […]
As I sat waiting for my appointment in the doctor’s reception area, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the waiting room. When she walked over to the receptionist’s desk, the man just sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking that maybe I should […]
This is an old one but a good one about an elderly man on a mobility scooter and a Ferrari. An elderly man who was riding on a mobility scooter, looking about 90 years old if not even older, pulled up next to a doctor at a street light. The […]