I went to the doctor today to get my annual health check. The nurse started the examination with some basic questions. “How much do you weigh?” she asked me. “135 pounds”, I replied. The nurse then had me stand on the scales. It turns out my weight is actually 180 […]
Jokes tagged as: nurse
7 posts
A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally, his nurse, fearing that the man […]
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with her hand wrapped in a bloody bandage. A nurse takes her into a cubicle, unwraps the bandage from her hand, and she can see that the tip of her index finger has been shot off. Blood is pouring out […]
A man goes to visit his grandfather who is 95 years old and in a nursing home. “How are you grandpa? he asks. “I’m feeling fine,” says the old man. “What’s the food like?”, asked his grandson. “Terrific, wonderful menus”, the old man replied. “And the nursing. Are they taking […]
Hospital regulations require that a wheelchair be used for patients when they are being discharged. While I was working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman who was already dressed, and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet. The gentleman insisted that he didn’t need […]
Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. “She’s incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards”, said one doctor. “Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He […]
Doing rounds, a new nurse couldn’t help overhearing the surgeon yelling, “Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!” “Why does he keep doing that?” she asked a colleague. “Oh, he likes to call the shots around here.”
