One lunchtime, the children were all lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school. At the head of the food counter was a large wicker basket that was filled with apples. One of the nuns had written a note that read “Take Only One – God Is Watching” […]
The Best Funny Nun Jokes
Three Italian nuns died and went to heaven. Sure enough, St. Peter was there to greet them at the Pearly Gates. He said to the Italian nuns, “Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives down on Earth, that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to Earth […]
Old Sister Margaret had been an impeccable nun all her life, obeying all the rules of the convent and devoting herself to “The Lord“, but one day, as will happen to all of us when we get old, she was called “upstairs” to her reward. As she approached the Pearly […]
An old Mother Superior was dying, she was close to 100 years old and had lived a long and faithful life. The nuns in the convent were all gathered around her bed, trying to make the last journey of her mortal life as comfortable as possible. They offered her some […]
Little Johnny was really struggling to learn arithmetic, which had his parents concerned about his education and they had tried everything to help him. They got him a maths tutor. They bought flash cards. They even enrolled him in a special learning center. They had pretty much tried everything that […]
It’s hard to believe I know, but there was a time when the Seven Dwarves got to meet The Pope. Amazing isn’t it, Disney legends meeting a Catholic legend! Our story begins with six of the seven dwarfs sitting around the house one day, when Sleepy came rushing in and […]
Murphy was walking down the road towards Mulligan’s bar, when he was accosted by a nun who was standing on the step outside the bar. As Murphy was about to walk into the bar, the nun, who turned out to be a Sister Marie, called out to him: “Surely a […]
One evening as she was sitting by the window of her room in the convent, Sister Ruth opened the letter from home that her parents had sent to her. Inside the letter, was a $100 bill, a generous gift from her parents. Sister Ruth smiled at the gesture, pondering what […]
Two nuns were shopping for some items on a hot summer evening at a 7-Eleven store. As they were passing the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening Sister Mary?” The second nun answered her, […]
The young priest got up in the morning and went to breakfast. On his way there, he passed two nuns and he said to them, “Good morning sisters”. The two nuns looked at him in a strange way and replied in a sing song manner, “You got up on the […]
A nun was in confession with her Mother Superior and they were discussing swearing and bad language. “I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it”, the nun said. “When did you use this awful language?” asks the Mother Superior. The nun replied, “Well, I was […]
Three nuns went to a baseball game to see the New York Yankees, still dressed in their habits, as nuns do, I mean you never ever see a nun out of habit do you. Three New York Yankees fans were sitting directly behind them, but because the nuns habits were […]