If you love Murphy Jokes, well here’s a tribute to Murphy, a good old Irish name and one that is used frequently in Irish jokes. This is a huge collection of Irish jokes dedicated to good old Murphy.
As happens once in a while, and twice in a while if it’s a joke, the CIA loses track of one of its operatives. This time it was an Irish spy, so they called in one of their top spy hunters to try and locate him. The head of the […]
The Best Funny Murphy Jokes
80 posts
If you love Murphy Jokes, well here’s a tribute to Murphy, a good old Irish name and one that is used frequently in Irish jokes. This is a huge collection of Irish jokes dedicated to good old Murphy.
When you think of names for Irish characters in Irish jokes, it’s usually either Murphy, Paddy (Patrick) or Seamus that come to mind isn’t it.
Don’t forget his best friend Paddy either, we also have a great collection of Paddy Jokes.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/03/the_5_irish_drinkers_who_most_embody_the_irish_dru.php
Two Irish builders were on a construction site, hammering floorboards down in a house. Paddy picked up a nail, realized it was upside down & threw it away. He carried on doing this until Murphy said “Why are you throwing those nails away?” “Because they’re upside down!” Paddy replied. “You […]
The police knocked at Murphy’s front door last night. When he opened the door, there was a policeman holding up a picture of his wife. The policeman said “is this your wife sir?” Shocked, Murphy answered ” yes”. The policeman said “I’m afraid it looks like she’s been hit by […]
Two Irishmen are sightseeing in New York when they decide to call it a day and go for a drink. They come across an up-market looking Irish pub, which has a mirrored wall along one side and flashing lights everywhere. They sit themselves down at the bar, when one of […]
Murphy was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of August 24th?” “Objection!” said the defense attorney. “Irrelevant!” “Oh, that’s okay,” said Murphy from the witness stand. “I don’t mind answering the question.” “I object!” […]
The Irish way to diet – get a dieting buddy…
Paddy and Murphy were working on a building site. Paddy said to Murphy “I’m gonna have the day off, I’m gonna pretend I’m mad!” He climbed up the rafters, hung upside down and shouted “I’M A LIGHTBULB! I’M A LIGHTBULB!” Murphy meanwhile watched in amazement! The Foreman shouted “Paddy you’re […]
Murphy and Seamus run into each other while out walking their dogs. Murphy suggests that they go for a bit of lunch. Seamus says, “They won’t let us in a restaurant with the dogs.” Undeterred, Murphy and his German shepherd head into the restaurant. The maitre’ d stops them, saying, […]
Seamus was thinking of buying a coffee maker but was concerned it might be too complicated to operate. The salesman assured him it was easy to use. “You simply put in the coffee and filter, fill the reservoir with water, slide the switch to auto and go to bed. When […]
A famous faith healer was coming to Ireland, and the news had spread like wildfire round Dublin. At the Point Theatre on Saturday there would be a very special event. It would be the only appearance in Ireland of the world-famous Brendini, one of the most famous faith healers of […]
