Patrick, Murphy and Seamus staggered out of a pub in Dublin and flagged down a passing taxi. The taxi driver stopped and seeing that they were so inebriated when they got in and problably didn’t have a clue about what has happening, he decided to play a trick on them. […]
The Best Funny Murphy Jokes
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We have almost 100 of the best funny Murphy jokes here. If you love Murphy Jokes, well this is a tribute to Murphy, a good old Irish name and one that is used frequently in Irish jokes. This is a huge collection of Irish jokes dedicated to good old Murphy.
When you think of names for Irish characters in Irish jokes, it’s usually either Murphy, Paddy (Patrick) or Seamus that come to mind isn’t it. Don’t forget his best friend Paddy either, we also have a great collection of Paddy Jokes.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/03/the_5_irish_drinkers_who_most_embody_the_irish_dru.php
Bridget had been working with her “Stammerers Action Group” for some time, but she was struggling to make progress with anyone in the group. She had tried every technique in the book as well as everything else that she could think of, but without any success at all. No matter […]
Murphy and Paddy were driving south from Dublin to Cork and they were both laughing and telling jokes as they were driving and were also drinking bottles of Guinness Stout. All of a sudden, Paddy saw lights flashing in his rear view mirror, it was the Garda, the Irish police […]
Murphy bought himself a chainsaw which according to the salesman in the shop was guaranteed to cut down 30 trees in an hour. Murphy started using it, but he was barely managing to cut down 10 trees an hour. Frustrated with his new chainsaw, he took it back to the […]
Murphy was forced to take a day off from work to appear in court for a speeding offense after he got caught driving too fast by a traffic camera. He grew increasingly restless as he waited for what seemed like one endless hour after another for his case to be […]
So Paddy and Murphy were driving home from the pub, having spent the whole afternoon there, drinking one pint of Guinness after the other. Suddenly, Paddy started screaming, “Murphy, look out for the wall, stop the car, don’t hit the…” Well as you probably guessed, the car slammed into the […]
Here’s a good joke about a Texan, an Irish pub and of course the best drink in Ireland, Guinness. Oh who am I kidding! It’s a terrible joke, but keep reading friends and I will do my best to coax a laugh out of you. So, a Texan was visiting […]
Right before Murphy was due to stand up in court on a burglary trial, the judge gave the defendant two options. “Mr. Murphy”, the judge said, “since you claim that you are innocent of this crime, you can either let me try your case, or you can choose to have […]
Murphy married a rich widow, but it wasn’t long before their marriage tuened out to be a really unhappy one. Practically every day it was one argument after another with both of them starting them. After a few months of marriage it seemed like their lives were nothing but arguments, […]
Murphy went to see the doctor because he had ended up with a bladder infection. As you might imagine a bladder infection can be rather painful and Murphy put off seeing the doctor for as long as possible, but finally the pain became too much to bare and so he […]
Murphy was walking home down a country lane when a car pulled up alongside him, stopped and the driver wound his window down. “Could you tell me the way to Balbriggan, please?” asked the driver, who from his accent was obviously a visitor from England. “Certainly sir”, Murphy said. “If […]
Murphy owned a furniture store in Dublin. His business was quite successful and he decided it would be a good idea to expand the line of furniture that he sold in his store. So he decided to take a trip to Paris to see what other items he could find […]