We have more than 80 of the best Murphy jokes here. If you love Murphy Jokes, well here’s a tribute to Murphy, a good old Irish name and one that is used frequently in Irish jokes. This is a huge collection of Irish jokes dedicated to good old Murphy.
When you think of names for Irish characters in Irish jokes, it’s usually either Murphy, Paddy (Patrick) or Seamus that come to mind isn’t it. Don’t forget his best friend Paddy either, we also have a great collection of Paddy Jokes.
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Murphy was headed up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, she could clearly see the light was on from their bedroom window. So Murphy opened the back door to go and turn off the light in the garden shed, […]
Murphy was telling a friend that he had just lost his job because the foreman on the construction site fired him. “Why did the foreman fire you?” his friend asked in surprise. “Oh”, Murphy said, “you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in their pockets watching […]
Paddy had heard the stories of an amazing family tradition where it was said that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, each of them had walked across the lake to the pub on the far […]
Seamus bought his wife a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, his friend Murphy asked how she was doing with it. “Oh the piano”, Seamus replied, “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet”. “A clarinet! How come?” Murphy asked. “It’s all on account of my health”, Seamus […]
Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past them, loaded up with rolls of turf. Seamus turned and said, “You know what Murphy, I’m gonna do that when I win the lottery”. “What do you mean Seamus?” Murphy asked. Seamus replied, “I’m going to send […]
Murphy said to his friend Sean “I failed my driving test”. “That’s too bad Murphy”, Sean replied, “where did you go wrong?” Murphy said “Well, Sean, I was doing fine up and down the hills and through the junctions and then I came to this roundabout”. “What happened then?” Sean […]
Murphy was terribly overweight, so his went to see his Doctor, who put him on a strict diet. The Doctor told Murphy, “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day. Then I want you to eat regularly again for another two days, then skip a […]
The Doctor received an emergency call from Murphy, who appeared to be in a bit of a panic and said he had a fly in his ear. The Doctor suggested that he try an old home remedy. “Just pour warm olive oil into your ear and lie down for a […]
Murphy needed his suit cleaned in a hurry, so he searched the small Bangor town which he was visiting until he found a dry cleaners with a sign that said “Cleaning and Pressing, 24 Hour Service”. After explaining his needs to Finan, the shop owner, Murphy said, “I’ll be back […]
Murphy got a job as a waiter in a fancy Steakhouse in Dublin. He brought to a customer’s table with the steak he had ordered and it was a fine piece of steak as well. The customer was horrified to see that Murphy had his thumb over the meat. “Are […]