Paddy and Murphy were out for a walk in the country to get some exercise and fresh air. Paddy said, “Did you see that?” “No”, said Murphy, “what was it?” “A huge bird of prey just flew overhead”, Paddy replied. “Oh”, Murphy said and they carried on walking. A few […]
Jokes tagged as: Murphy Jokes
58 posts
“It’s no good sir”, Murphy said to his English teacher. “I am trying to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other”. “Goes in both ears and out the other?” the puzzled teacher asked. “But you only have two ears”. “You see, sir”, Murphy replied, […]
Three sailors had been shipwrecked and had been stranded on a deserted island for over two years. They had been lucky to survive and had made the best of the natural resources they had found on the island, but now it was becoming obvious that there was no possible hope […]
Murphy worked as a waiter at a restaurant and sometimes there were desserts left over at the end of the evening, which the staff were allowed to take home. One evening when there were some desserts left over, Murphy brought home two pieces of cheesecake, one for his wife and […]
Patrick and Seamus, two Irish friends, were talking over a drink when Seamus asked, “Have ye seen Murphy lately, Patrick?” Patrick said, “Well, I have and I haven’t”. Seamus looked rather puzzled and asked, “Shure, and what d’ye mean by that?” Patrick said, “It’s like this, you see. I saw […]
It was the day of Murphy’s wife’s funeral and together with his family and friends he was at his wife’s graveside for the burial. The funeral service had barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, which was followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, then accompanied by […]
The foreman at the Waterford Crystal factory in Southern Ireland inspected the shipment of crystal vases that was about to leave the factory. He went up to Murphy, who was the new packer. He put his arm around Murphy’s shoulder and said, “Well, I see you did what I asked, […]
Murphy was getting more than a little peeved with the frequent visits they were getting from his wife’s two nephews, who were both Jesuit priests. She was in the habit of wining and dining them royally and on one occasion she forced Murphy to kill the two finest chickens in […]
Murphy’s son was returning from the local market, carrying a crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him. All of a sudden, the crate fell, the door came open and chickens went running off in different directions. The young boy was mad at himself for dropping the crate, but […]
Murphy was proud of his nail making business and decided to employ an advertising company to help promote it. He had visions of Murphy’s Nails being the best nail making company in all of Ireland. So he went to a top advertising agency to have them create a marketing strategy […]
