Three girls, a blonde, a redhead and a brunette, all died within minutes of each other and ended up together at the pearly gates of Heaven. When they went to enter through the gates, they were stopped by St. Peter and an obedient angel. St. Peter motioned for the girls […]
The Best Funny Martini Jokes
9 posts
Who doesn’t love a Martini and who doesn’t love a Martini joke. We have a good collection of Martini jokes here and hope you enjoy them.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/cocktail-martini-gin-drink-glass-995574/
I was waiting tables at an exclusive country club, when an elegantly dressed woman that I had been serving, spilled her bowl of Manhattan clam chowder all over her white linen skirt. She began dabbing at it furiously with her napkin. Having had plenty of experience with getting out food […]
Once upon a time a priest was given a new post at a church in Alaska. After a couple of years, the bishop went to visit him to see how his new posting was working out. “How are you doing up here?” the Bishop asked the priest. “It’s really cold”, […]
Two colleagues were riding to work on the bus, when they both saw two dogs going at it on the grass. One man, who had been married for a while, looked at his colleague and said, “Oh boy, I would give anything if I could do it to my wife […]
My 45th birthday was a couple of weeks ago and when I woke up I wasn’t feeling great, not to mention the fact that 45 is halfway between 40 and 50. Once you reach 50 you are just bloody well old, so needless to say, having reached the point where […]
Murphy walked into a bar and ordered a Martini, followed by another Martini. After each Martini, Murphy would remove the olives and place them in a jar. He kept this up for over an hour, by which time he was rather sozzled as you might imagine and Patrick, the bartender […]
Four retired men were walking down the street when they saw a sign that said, “Old Timers Bar – All drinks 10 cents“. They looked at each other in disbelief and then went into the bar, thinking that this was too good to be true and if it was true, […]
Two Jewish businessmen met for lunch in a restaurant that was suggested by one of them. The first Jewish businessman said to the other, “I have a good deal for you. When I was in Florida, I went to the town where the circus stays during the winter. I happened […]
So, a businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar and ordered a double martini on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his shirt pocket, then asked the bartender to prepare another double martini for him. After he finished that his second martini, he again […]