I was waiting tables at an exclusive country club, when an elegantly dressed woman that I had been serving, spilled her bowl of Manhattan clam chowder all over her white linen skirt. She began dabbing at it furiously with her napkin. Having had plenty of experience with getting out food […]
The Best Funny martini
8 posts
A priest was given a new post at a church in Alaska. After a couple of years, the bishop went to visit him to see how his posting was working out. “How are you doing up here?” the Bishop asked the priest. “It’s really cold,” the priest answered. “If it […]
Two colleagues are riding to work on the bus, when they both see two dogs going at it on a lawn. One man, who has been married for a while, looks at his colleague and says, “Oh boy, I would give anything if I could do it to my wife […]
My 45th birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and when I woke up I wasn’t feeling great, not to mention the fact that 45 is halfway between 40 and 50, and 50 is just bloody old. So, I didn’t feel great, and oh boy was I feeling depressed as […]
Murphy walked into a bar and ordered a Martini, followed by another Martini. After each Martini, Murphy would remove the olives and place them in a jar. He kept this up for over an hour, by which time he was rather sozzled as you might imagine, and Patrick, the bartender […]
Four retired men are walking down the street when they see a sign that says, “Old Timers Bar – All drinks 10 cents.” They look at each other in disbelief and then go into the bar, thinking that this is too good to be true. The old bartender who is […]
Two Jewish businessmen met for lunch in a restaurant that was suggested by one of them. The first Jewish businessman says to the other, “I have a good deal for you. When I was in Florida, I went to the town where the circus stays during the winter. I happened […]
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket […]