Have you tried lots of diets without success? Well, have you heard of the Miracle Cat Food Diet? Seriously, this could be the right diet for you! Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those of us who have never had any success dieting, […]
The Best Funny Lunch Jokes
I had lunch at a restaurant called the International Diner the other day. I sat down at a table and a few minutes later the waitress came over. The conversation went something like this… Waitress: “Are you very Hungary?” Me: “Yes, Siam.” Waitress: “What would you like me to Serbia?” […]
A wrinkled up, grizzled looking old man was eating his lunch at a truck stop, when three Hells Angels bikers walked in. Now these weren’t any kind of Hell’s Angels bikers. They were the meanest, ugliest looking Hell’s Angels bikers you could ever imagine. They were real contenders for the […]
While they were on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside diner for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the diner and resumed their trip. When they left, the elderly woman had unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn’t miss them until they […]
It was time for lunch on the construction site and three workmen sat down on the roof of a building to eat their lunch. One man was Italian, the second was Mexican and the third was Polish. The Italian man opened his lunch box and said, “Spaghetti again! I have […]
The rather attractive secretary entered her boss’s office one morning, to find him standing there, staring out of the office window. Seeing her enter the room, he proclaimed idly, “It’s certainly going to be a beautiful day today Cynthia”. “I don’t think so”, replied his secretary, “the weather forcast said […]
A man returned from a visit to his doctor and told his wife the horrific news. The doctor had told him that he has only 24 hours to live. With this in mind, the man did what any number of other men would do in his position and asked his […]
A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room. There was a strange looking woman sitting at the entrance who greeted them with, “Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to […]
While out taking a group of elderly people on a day trip, the tour bus driver accidentally left a passenger behind after they had stopped for lunch. Feeling really bad and wanting to apologize to the passenger, the driver called their cell phone. “I don’t blame YOU for leaving without […]
A woman asked her husband if he would like some breakfast. “Bacon, eggs, perhaps some toast? Maybe a nice sectioned grapefruit and a cup of fresh coffee?” she asked, He declined, telling her, “It’s the Viagra, it’s really taken the edge off my appetite.” At lunchtime she again asked if […]
My 45th birthday was a couple of weeks ago and when I woke up I wasn’t feeling great, not to mention the fact that 45 is halfway between 40 and 50. Once you reach 50 you are just bloody well old, so needless to say, having reached the point where […]
A man went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner and was told by the maitre’d that there would be at least a twenty minute wait for a table, so he would have to wait in the bar until he could be seated. So, while he waited for a table, he […]