Marjorie stood up before the judge in the divorce court. Judge: “You have asked for a divorce decree from this court. Madam, is that right?” Marjorie: “Yes Your Honor”. Judge: “And the grounds for your request is that your husband is too careless about his appearance. Is that correct?” Marjorie: […]
The Best Funny Judge Jokes
27 posts
We have a great collection of funny Judge Jokes for you here on The Laughline.
We have funny stories about judges in court dealing with the dumbest of criminals, whether they be thieves or drunks. We also have judge jokes about people trying to get divorced for the most bizarre reasons.
We hope you enjoy this collection of Judge Jokes. If so, please help us by sharing them.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/141290938@N03/26682691294
Two judges who were both from small counties in a Midwest state, got arrested for speeding on the same day. Rather than call the state Supreme Court to get a visiting judge, each of the judges who had been caught speeding agreed to hear the other’s case. The first judge […]
When the court case was about to begin, the Judge asked one of the Jurors “Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?” The Juror replied, “I don’t want to be away from my job that long, your honor”. The Judge then asked him, […]
At a recent case in the traffic court, a man who had received an expensive parking ticket, testified to the court that a uniformed police officer had told him that it was ok to park there and that he was not happy about getting a parking ticket. The Judge asked […]
At the traffic court, the judge asked the motorist: “Tell me, why did you park your car here?” The man replied, “Well your honour, I saw this sign that said fine for parking”. Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/bionicteaching/48101094668/in/photostream/
Divorce is never a pleasant subject, but it’s the topic of many jokes and we have a good divorce joke here for you. So, a man appeared before a judge one day, hoping that he could get a divorce. The judge quietly reviewed a stack of papers and then asked […]
A trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a […]
This is the scene one day in an Irish courthouse, during a murder case. The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, “Sean O’Flaherty, you are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.” Suddenly, a voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “You bastard!” The judge, […]
An American tourist who was visiting Canada decided to celebrate the 4th of July by getting stone drunk. He became obnoxious and disorderly, was arrested and was later hauled into court for disturbing the peace. “How do you plead?” the Judge asked. “Not guilty!” replied the accused. “How can you […]
A judge was interviewing a lady regarding her pending divorce and asked her, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.” “No,” the judge said, “I mean what is the […]
A husband and wife were having marriage problems and decided to end their union after what had been only a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple went to court to finalize their break-up. The Judge asked the husband, “What has brought you to […]
“It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honor”, testified the man after being charged with indecent exposure. “Explain that statement!” demanded the Judge. “Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman — so I showed […]