We have a great collection of funny Judge Jokes for you here on The Laughline.
The judge read out the charges, then asked Murphy, who was standing in the dock, “Are you the defendant in this case?” “No sir, your honor, sir”” Murphy replied. “I’ve got a Solicitor to do the defending. I’m the guy who done it”. Image used under a Collective Commons License […]
The Best Funny Judge Jokes
20 posts
We have a great collection of funny Judge Jokes for you here on The Laughline.
We have funny stories about judges in court dealing with the dumbest of criminals, whether they be thieves or drunks. We also have judge jokes about people trying to get divorced for the most bizarre reasons.
We hope you enjoy this collection of Judge Jokes. If so, please help us by sharing them.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/141290938@N03/26682691294
It was the height of summer in the city of Dublin and everyone was enjoying a summer fair. That is to say, except at the Dublin courthouse, where it was business as usual. In the dock stood Murphy, a real down and out drunk, with a nose as red as […]
A woman was in the divorce court and called up in front of the judge. Having asked her the usual questions, name, address etc, he then asked her why she was there. “Your honour, I want to divorce my husband”, she said to the judge. “And why do you want […]
An elderly man was in the courtroom on a case of being assaulted by his wife. He had been explaining at length to the judge and jury, the details of the attack by his wife of 40 years. After a discussion of the events that lead up to the incident, […]
“I want a divorce!” That’s something a judge hears quite often in court I am sure, but not always under the same circumstances. Here is one divorce court story that is just a little bit different to the rest… A woman is in court and said to the judge, Your […]
Marjorie stood up before the judge in the divorce court. Judge: “You have asked for a divorce decree from this court. Madam, is that right?” Marjorie: “Yes Your Honor”. Judge: “And the grounds for your request is that your husband is too careless about his appearance. Is that correct?” Marjorie: […]
Two judges who were both from small counties in a Midwest state, got arrested for speeding on the same day. Rather than call the state Supreme Court to get a visiting judge, each of the judges who had been caught speeding agreed to hear the other’s case. The first judge […]
When the court case was about to begin, the Judge asked one of the Jurors “Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?” The Juror replied, “I don’t want to be away from my job that long, your honor”. The Judge then asked him, […]
At a recent case in the traffic court, a man who had received an expensive parking ticket, testified that a uniformed policeman had told him that it was ok to park there. The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the officer if he ever saw him again, and […]
At the traffic court, the judge asked the motorist: “Tell me, why did you park your car here?” The man replied, “Well your honour, I saw this sign that said fine for parking”.
