We have a great collection of funny Judge Jokes for you here on The Laughline.
Murphy was forced to take a day off from work to appear in court for a speeding offense after he got caught driving too fast by a traffic camera. He grew increasingly restless as he waited for what seemed like one endless hour after another for his case to be […]
The Best Funny Judge Jokes
27 posts
We have a great collection of funny Judge Jokes for you here on The Laughline.
We have funny stories about judges in court dealing with the dumbest of criminals, whether they be thieves or drunks. We also have judge jokes about people trying to get divorced for the most bizarre reasons.
We hope you enjoy this collection of Judge Jokes. If so, please help us by sharing them.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/141290938@N03/26682691294
Right before Murphy was due to stand up in court on a burglary trial, the judge gave the defendant two options. “Mr. Murphy”, the judge said, “since you claim that you are innocent of this crime, you can either let me try your case, or you can choose to have […]
Two elderly friends used to meet in the local park every day, where they would feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss the problems of the world, as you do. One day, Colin, one of the friends, didn’t show up in the park. Harry didn’t think much about it […]
A drunk man was in the court room and brought before the judge. Just before the court case was about to start, there was a loud commotion from up in the gallery. The judge angrily pounded his gravel on his table and shouted, “Order, order!” The drunk immediately responded, “Thank […]
A school teacher was given a speeding ticket for driving through a red light. When she appeared in traffic court, she asked the judge if he could give priority to her case as she was due to be back in class. The judge looked at her very sternly sternly and […]
The lawyer was in court, defending a man who had been accused of burglary. Trying a creative defense to get his client off the hook, the lawyer said to the judge, “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few paltry items. His arm is not […]
Don’t you just love those court room situations where something vital that could send a criminal to jail is dismissed as inadmissible evidence. Here is one such situation that happened in a court room recently. Judge: “Did you or did you not see the gun being fired?” Witness: “I did […]
The judge read out the charges, then asked Murphy, who was standing in the dock, “Are you the defendant in this case?” “No sir, your honor, sir”” Murphy replied. “I’ve got a Solicitor to do the defending. I’m the guy who done it”. Image used under a Collective Commons License […]
It was the height of summer in the city of Dublin and everyone was enjoying a summer fair. That is to say, except at the Dublin courthouse, where it was business as usual. In the dock stood Murphy, a real down and out drunk, with a nose as red as […]
A woman was in the divorce court and the time came for her to be called up in front of the judge. Having asked her the usual questions, name, address etc, the judge then asked her why she was there. “Your honour, I want to divorce my husband”, she said […]
An elderly man was in the courtroom on a case of being assaulted by his wife. He had been explaining at length to the judge and jury, the details of the attack by his wife of 40 years. After a discussion of the events that lead up to the incident, […]
“I want a divorce!” Now that’s something a judge hears quite often in court I am sure, but not always under the same circumstances. Here is one divorce court story that is just a little bit different to the rest… A woman was in court and said to the judge, […]