An Irishman who looks like he is getting on a bit in years walks into a pub in Dublin, where he orders three pints of Guinness. He then sits at a table in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each Guinness in turn. When he finishes […]
Jokes tagged as: Irishman Jokes
20 posts
An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman and their wives are playing a round of golf on a windy day. The Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee, and as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals that she isn’t wearing […]
Two Irishmen were walking along a street in London, browsing in all the shop windows that they passed. Paddy looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye. The sign read, “Suits @ £5.00 each, Shirts @ £2.00 each, trousers @ £2.50 per pair”. […]
A company had advertised a vacancy and the boss was getting ready to interview the prospective candidated for the position. Murphy decides to apply for the job, and reports to the office for his interview. The boss, however, was determined not to hire an Irishman, so he decides to set […]
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman applied for a job as chauffeur to drive the Rolls Royce for a wealthy lady. “I’m such a good driver”, said The Englishman, “I can go within six inches of a cliff edge without driving over.” “I can go within an inch of […]
Three lads, all a sandwich short of a picnic, got to talking amongst themselves one day in their local pub. One lad was from England, one was from Scotland, and one was from Ireland. They were talking about their home lives and their problems, and all three came to the […]
An Irishman arrived at JFK Airport in New York, and was seen wandering about the terminal, obviously very distressed and with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him what was wrong, and if he was already homesick. “No,” replied the Irishman. “I’ve lost all me luggage!” “How […]
An Irishman goes to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church. “Father”, he says to the priest, “it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.” The priest tells the sinner, “You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s.” Soon […]
A cop pulls up two Irish drunks, who have both obviously had a skinfull, judging by the way they are staggering along the road. The cop says to the first drunk, “What’s your name and address?” “I’m Paddy O’Day, of no fixed address.” The cop turns to the second drunk, […]
After a night of heavy drinking, two Irishmen stagger home from their country pub, intending to take a short cut through the graveyard. Being much the worse for wear, they decide to take a rest against a stone, where Paddy reads the inscription. “Do y’know, Michael, this fella here lived […]
