An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman applied for a job as chauffeur to drive the Rolls Royce for a wealthy lady. “I’m such a good driver”, said The Englishman, “I can go within six inches of a cliff edge without driving over.” “I can go within an inch of […]
Jokes tagged as: irishman
16 posts
Three lads, all a sandwich short of a picnic, got to talking amongst themselves one day in their local pub. One lad was from England, one was from Scotland, and one was from Ireland. They were talking about their home lives and their problems, and all three came to the […]
An Irishman arrived at JFK Airport in New York, and was seen wandering about the terminal, obviously very distressed and with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him what was wrong, and if he was already homesick. “No,” replied the Irishman. “I’ve lost all me luggage!” “How […]
An Irishman goes to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church. “Father”, he says to the priest, “it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.” The priest tells the sinner, “You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s.” Soon […]
A cop pulls up two Irish drunks, who have both obviously had a skinfull, judging by the way they are staggering along the road. The cop says to the first drunk, “What’s your name and address?” “I’m Paddy O’Day, of no fixed address.” The cop turns to the second drunk, […]
After a night of heavy drinking, two Irishmen stagger home from their country pub, intending to take a short cut through the graveyard. Being much the worse for wear, they decide to take a rest against a stone, where Paddy reads the inscription. “Do y’know, Michael, this fella here lived […]
Pat and Mike were a couple of Irishmen who had been drinking buddies and friends for years. One night, after having a few drinks in a bar, Mike said to Pat “We have been friends for years and years, and if I should die before you do, would you do […]
Patrick Flaherty came home drunk again as he did every evening, just before ten o’clock. Now, the Missus was never too happy about this, so one night she hid in the cemetery that he passes on the way home, intending to scare the beejeezus out of him. As poor Patrick […]
This might just be first blonde guy joke. For me it was well worth the wait, I hope it is for you too… An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the […]
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games, but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal. While wandering around […]