A couple were dressed up and ready to have a romantic evening out at one of their favourite restaurants. They phoned for a taxi, turned on a night light, covered over their pet parrot and put the cat out in the back yard. The taxi arrived a short while after, […]
The Best Funny Husband Jokes
167 posts
Looking for husband jokes? We have lots of those here for you.
As a husband I am always getting into trouble, I am sure you know exactly what I mean. Wives just so often seem to have it in for us husbands don’t they. This is our collection of husband jokes. We hope you get a good laugh out of them.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/wedding-husband-suit-wedding-day-4288992/
To celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary, an elderly couple returned to the hotel where they had spent their wedding night and honeymoon. They had a lovely meal in the hotel restaurant which brought back wonderful memories, as not only was it in the same room where they dined on their […]
Three women were having a coffee morning and as so often happens, the topic of conversation turned to their sex lives. The first woman said, “I think my husband is like a championship golfer. He’s spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke”. The second woman said, “My husband is […]
This is an experiment in switching mobile phones and no it’s not about switching from an iPhone to an Android phone or vice versa. Having read this, do you think the responses would the same if things were reversed and the women’s husbands were sending the first message? So, a […]
One morning, a husband and wife were in the kitchen having an argument during breakfast. Having had enough fighting for one day, the husband, who was a doctor, got up from the table in a rage, said “And you are no good in bed either” and stormed out of the […]
A husband and wife had a bitter argument on the day of their 20th wedding anniversary. I’m not really sure how it all started, but you know what it’s like. Someone said or did something, the other one moaned about it and things just escalated from there. If the argument […]
Margaret and Janet were old friends and they had both been married to their husbands for a long time. One day, Margaret and Janet were talking and Margaret said that she was upset because she thought her husband didn’t find her attractive any more. “As I get older he doesn’t […]
Have you ever noticed that you find the most romantic people at home improvement centers. My son happens to work at a branch of a large chain of home improvement centers and one day he was helping a couple purchase a new front door for their home. After he asked […]
One winter night, a heavy snow storm had covered a woman’s van with snow and it was stuck in their driveway, preventing her from driving it to work. Her husband got out the snow shovel and dug around the wheels to clear the snow. He then rocked the van back […]
One morning, a husband took a pair of his underwear out of the dresser drawer. “What the heck!” he said to himself as a little dust cloud appeared when he shook them out. “Heather”, he called into the bathroom, “why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?” She quickly […]
A pair of Irish newlyweds were on their way to Dublin to spend a few days in the “big city” for their honeymoon. The bride, who was a rather shy girl, was a bit embarrassed that people might see that they were honeymooners. So, when she and her husband pulled […]
A married couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party by some friends. Unfortunately, the wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. Her husband, being a really devoted husband, protested and wanted to stay at home with his wife, but she […]