So the young couple left the church where they had been just married, said farefell to their families and friends and drove a couple of hours to the hotel that they had booked for the first night of their honeymoon. The hotel had kindly left a bottle of champagne in […]
The Best Funny Husband Jokes
167 posts
Looking for husband jokes? We have lots of those here for you.
As a husband I am always getting into trouble, I am sure you know exactly what I mean. Wives just so often seem to have it in for us husbands don’t they. This is our collection of husband jokes. We hope you get a good laugh out of them.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/wedding-husband-suit-wedding-day-4288992/
Mary was fed up with the fact that her husband Derek was overweight, so she put him on the spot and asked him why he wasn’t doing anything about shedding a few pounds, especially as Summer was fast approaching. “But Mary honey”, he replied, trying to fob his wife off […]
The small tropical island was becoming really getting overcrowded, so a population control program was introduced by the government to try and reduce the birth rate. The medical team on the island had a simple plan, to provide all the women on the island with birth control pills. It was […]
An older Jewish gentleman and a younger Jewish lady fell very much in love and got married. However, there was a problem in their relationship, since no matter what the husband did in the bedroom, his younger wife never managed to have an orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled […]
Here’s a lovely story for you, about an old man married to a much younger woman. Hubert was an old man who had been married to a much younger woman for several years. Their marriage had been very happy and they had a great sex life, until out of the […]
A Jewish American couple were on vacation in the Holy Land and sitting having a coffee outside a souvenir shop in Bethlehem. While they were sitting there drinking their coffee, an Arab gentleman came up to them, carrying a bunch of leather belts and he did his best to try […]
An car insurance agent was teaching his wife to drive when the brakes failed while they were driving down a really steep hill. “Tom, I can’t stop!” his wife screamed in panic, “what should I do?” “Just brace yourself darling”, her husband said, “and try to hit something cheap!” I […]
What is a Bachelor? A Bachelor, or Batchelor as it’s commonly spelled in the UK, is a single person and often one who wants to remain unmarried, not being tied down to the role of being a husband. If you look at the definitions below and are married yourself or […]
A man and his wife, who had nagged him constantly throughout their married life, went to Jerusalem on vacation. While they were there in Jerusalem, the wife passed away. Arranging plans for her body to be shipped back to the USA, the undertaker told the husband, “You can have her […]
Carpooling can be great can’t it, allowing you to share the task of driving to work or in this case, take it in turns taking your children to events. But carpooling only really works if both parties can honor the commitment of providing transport when required. Well, for the second […]
When Dolores got married, she put a shoe box in the closet and told her husband never to open it. After over fifty years of marriage, she was confined to her bed and only had hours left to live, so she called her husband to her bedside and told him […]
Three young married women were at a cocktail party talking and the conversation inevitably turned to their position in life. As so often happens occasions like this, it soon became obvious that they were trying to brag about how their lives were going and about their relationships with their husbands. […]