A sweet old grandmother telephoned Mount Sinai Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said “I’ll be glad to help, my dear. What’s their name and room number?” The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice […]
Jokes tagged as: hospital
11 posts
FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor that offered a […]
Hospital regulations require that a wheelchair be used for patients when they are being discharged. While I was working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman who was already dressed, and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet. The gentleman insisted that he didn’t need […]
A young man is lying in bed in the hospital after his operation, with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears, and explains to him that she is there to sponge his hands and feet. “Nurse”, he mumbles from behind the mask, are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, […]
There were two young boys in hospital, laying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room, waiting to have surgery done. The first young boy leans over and asks the other one, “What are you in here for?” The second young boy turns to him and says, “I’m […]
Arthur Benjamin loved to play practical jokes on people, but here he was stuck in hospital after an illness, and being fairly bored with life on the ward, he was desperate to play some kind of practical joke on the nursing staff. Just before midday, the nurse brought a lunch […]
A man was riding on a roller coaster at a theme park and had an accident. The next thing he knows, he is in hospital. He is in a lot of pain, and he has bandages all over him. “What on earth happened to you?” asked the hospital visitor to […]
While making his medical rounds in a hospital in Dublin, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students. “As you can see,” the Doctor says, “this patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched”. The Doctor says to one of the students, “Murphy, […]
A man is paying a visit to his Italian neighbor who just had a very serious traffic accident and is in hospital. He doesn’t look too good, with his arms and legs in plaster, completely wrapped in a bandage, tons of hoses and infusions. In fact he looks rather like […]
Doing rounds, a new nurse couldn’t help overhearing the surgeon yelling, “Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!” “Why does he keep doing that?” she asked a colleague. “Oh, he likes to call the shots around here.”