An attractive young woman walked into an accountant’s office and said to him “I need help to file my taxes”. The accountant said to her, “Well madam, before we begin, I will need to ask you a few questions”. He proceded to get her name, address, social security number and […]
The Best Funny Honesty Jokes
An elderly man was feeling rather under the weather, so he went to see his doctor to get a check-up, just in case there was anything serious with with him. He explained how he was feeling to the doctor, who after giving the elderly man a thorough physical examination, gave […]
Murphy’s wife purchased a new line of expensive cosmetics that she saw advertised on television and which guaranteed to make her look years younger. After spending a long time sitting in front of the mirror applying her “miracle” cosmetic products, she asked Murphy, “Darling, honestly, what age would you say […]
Seamus went to Sunday Mass one day and the priest almost fainted when he saw him, because Seamus had never been seen in church in all of his adult life. After the Sunday Mass had ended, the priest approached Seamus and said, “Seamus, I am so pleased you decided to […]
It was Donald Trump’s first night in the White House as president and he was thrilled at finally being able to spend his first night there. However, as he lay there in bed in the White House, something very strange happened, he was awakened by George Washington’s ghost. Trump asked […]
St. Brigid of Kildare, now one of Ireland’s patron saints, having had a life of piety, died and went to Heaven. God greeted her warmly at the Pearly Gates. “Be thou hungry, Brigid?” God asked her. “I could eat something”, she said. So, God opened a can of tuna, reached […]
A successful investment counselor decided that it was time to go out on her own and so she set up her own financial counseling company. Since she was shrewd and diligent, the company quickly became very popular and business kept building up, until she realized that she needed to hire […]
An old man goes to the doctor for a checkup and he is examined by a new doctor that he hasn’t seen before. You are in incredible shape”, the doctor said, having given the old man a complete physical examination. “How old are you again?” “I am 78 years old”, […]
One day, while out on the golf course playing a round of golf with his wife, the husband said, “Honey, I have a confession to make. It’s been on my mind for a while now to be honest with you. Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant […]
A man went to his friend’s Halloween fancy dress party with nothing but a young woman holding onto his back. “So what the heck are you supposed to be?” his friend asked, with a puzzled look on his face. “Can’t you guess?” the man said. “Honestly, I haven’t a clue”, […]
Donald Trump walks into a local bank in New York to cash a check. He is surrounded by Secret Service agents. As he approaches the cashier he says, “Good morning Ma’am, could you please cash this check for me?” The cashier is a lovely friendly lady with an African American […]
Retirement is a strange thing you know. Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I now realise that at my age, I don’t really give a damn anymore. Honestly, I just got to the point where little surprises me and I live life my way. Take exercise for example. […]