St. Brigid of Kildare, now one of Ireland’s patron saints, having had a life of piety, died and went to Heaven. God greeted her at the Pearly Gates. “Be thou hungry, Brigid?” God asked her. “I could eat”, she said. So, God opened a can of tuna, reached for a […]
Jokes tagged as: Heaven Jokes
30 posts
One day, God was up in Heaven, looking down at Earth and was horrified when he saw all of the horrible behavior that was going on. He couldn’t comprehend just how bad things had become, so he called one of his angels, and asked her to go to earth for […]
One busy day, there are a lot of new arrivals at the gates of Heaven. A man arrives at the pearly gates, where St. Peter stops him, looks him over and asks him what religion he is. The man says, “I’m a Methodist”. St. Peter looks down his list, and […]
A successful young lawyer was on his way to court, to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit, when he suddenly found himself at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter started to escort him inside the pearly gates, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some […]
Three girls, a blonde, a redhead and a brunette, all died within minutes of each other and ended up together at the pearly gates of Heaven. When they went to enter through the gates, they were stopped by St. Peter and an obedient angel. St. Peter motioned for the girls […]
A cowboy strolled up to the Pearly Gates of Heaven and appeared before St. Peter. Finding this a rather unusual sight, St. Peter asked him, “Have you ever done anything of particular merit, that would make you worthy of entering the Kingdom of Heaven?” “Well”, the cowboy replied, “I can […]
One morning, St. Peter was on greeter duty at the Pearly Gates, when he heard a commotion from down the long and winding road that leads to the entrance to Heaven. He looked up and saw a large group of at least a thousand people converging on the Pearly Gates. […]
It’s Christmas Eve in Heaven, where three men who died on Christmas Eve have just arrived and they are met by Saint Peter. “In honour of the season”, Saint Peter says to them, “Before I let you pass through the Pearly Gates, you must each show me something that represents […]
One day, Saint Peter was on duty at the Pearly Gates, monitoring the new arrivals in Heaven, when three people arrived. The first person walks up to the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter asks them, “What did you die of?” The man replies, “I died of the big ‘C’”. Saint […]
A famous lawyer, who had been a public defender for years, suddenly dies. He finds himself standing at the back of an enormous queue, which he realises if outside the Pearly Gates of Heaven. The queue before him is enormous, it just seems to go on and on. The number […]
