One day, Saint Peter was on duty at the Pearly Gates, monitoring the new arrivals in Heaven, when three people arrived. The first person walks up to the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter asks them, “What did you die of?” The man replies, “I died of the big ‘C’”. Saint […]
Jokes tagged as: Heaven Jokes
19 posts
A priest and a bus driver both died and arrived at the Heaven at the same time. They get to the pearly gates where St. Peter greets them. He motions to the priest, and they both hop in a jeep and go out the back door, where the priest sees […]
A refined lady dies and goes to heaven. She is chatting with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams. “Don’t worry about that”, says St. Peter, “It’s only someone having the holes put into her shoulder blades for […]
Three fairly dumb looking men just died and are waiting outside the Pearly Gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first man, “WHAT IS EASTER?” The man replies, “Oh, that’s easy, it’s the […]
Three blondes died, and they all found themselves at the pearly gates of Heaven, standing before St.Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom of Heaven, they would have to demonstrate that they were Christians. To do this, he would require each of them to explain to […]
Einstein dies and as luck would have it, he has a chance of getting into heaven. He waits in line for a while at the pearly gates for someone to let him in, and then finally Saint Peter turns up. Saint Peter says to him, “You look like Einstein, but […]
Little Tommy came home from school one day, and found his pet chicken dead. It was just laying on the ground with it’s legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained to Tommy that the chicken had died, he was going to heaven, and […]
One day, three nuns died and before long they were standing outside the pearly gates of heaven waiting to get in. Saint Peter approached them, and asked the first nun, “Do you know who the first man was on Earth?” The first nun said, “Ummm, that’s a difficult question, would […]
One day, while walking down the street, Susan, who was a highly successful woman executive, was tragically hit by a bus and killed. Her soul arrived up in Heaven, where she was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. “Greetings Susan, welcome to Heaven,” said Saint Peter. “Before […]
After dinner, Paddy raises his glass and toasts his girlfriend with the words “May you be in Heaven a half-hour before the devil knows you’re dead!” “What’s that mean?”. she asks him. “That is an authentic Irish toast” replies Paddy. “Oh. In that case”, she says, “Here’s to bread, eggs […]
