I bet you didn’t know that all arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted to a new arrival or not. One room has a clerk, who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day […]
Jokes tagged as: Heaven Jokes
34 posts
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven! Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.pexels.com/photo/summer-sunshine-alcohol-drink-1862/
Have you ever stopped to think how women get to heaven? This short story (which is just a little bit rude) provides one answer to this age old question. A small boy walked into his mother’s bedroom and caught her standing topless in front of the mirror. “Mommy, Mommy, what […]
One fine sunny day, God was sitting in Heaven when a scientist went up to him and said, “Lord, we don’t need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing. In other words, we are now able to do what you did in […]
St. Brigid of Kildare, now one of Ireland’s patron saints, having had a life of piety, died and went to Heaven. God greeted her at the Pearly Gates. “Be thou hungry, Brigid?” God asked her. “I could eat”, she said. So, God opened a can of tuna, reached for a […]
One day, God was up in Heaven, looking down at Earth and was horrified when he saw all of the horrible behavior that was going on. He couldn’t comprehend just how bad things had become, so he called one of his angels, and asked her to go to earth for […]
One busy day, there are a lot of new arrivals at the gates of Heaven. A man arrives at the pearly gates, where St. Peter stops him, looks him over and asks him what religion he is. The man says, “I’m a Methodist”. St. Peter looks down his list, and […]
A successful young lawyer was on his way to court, to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit, when he suddenly found himself at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter started to escort him inside the pearly gates, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some […]
Three girls, a blonde, a redhead and a brunette, all died within minutes of each other and ended up together at the pearly gates of Heaven. When they went to enter through the gates, they were stopped by St. Peter and an obedient angel. St. Peter motioned for the girls […]
A cowboy strolled up to the Pearly Gates of Heaven and appeared before St. Peter. Finding this a rather unusual sight, St. Peter asked him, “Have you ever done anything of particular merit, that would make you worthy of entering the Kingdom of Heaven?” “Well”, the cowboy replied, “I can […]
