A widower never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive, but after she passed away, he found that now he was living on his own, he was desperately missing his wife. So he went to see a psychic to see if she could put him in contact […]
The Best Funny Heaven Jokes
60 posts
You have come to the right place if you are looking for Heaven Jokes.
Heaven is featured in a lot of religious jokes, and as we have a really large collection of religious jokes, it’s only natural that there are a lot of jokes about heaven in the collection.
If you are looking for jokes about God, Jesus, Saint Peter, or various people who have died and are trying to get into heaven, you can also find plenty of them here.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/illustrations/heaven-stairs-woman-silhouette-5773584/
An elderly couple who had been married for more than sixty years, died as the result of a horrific car crash. Their passing was really tragic, since despite their advanced years, they were both still on good health, thanks to spending the last ten years eating only healthy food and […]
A man died and went to Heaven. Yes I know, it’s another one of those jokes, but such is life. People keep thinking them up, the same way as they keep starting fairy tales with “Once upon a time”. You just have to deal with it I’m afraid. So where […]
A man and his dog were walking along a deserted country road. The man was enjoying the tranquility and the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying and also recalled that the dog walking beside him was his old dog that had been […]
The Sunday School teacher was speaking to her class one Sunday morning and she asked them this thought provoking question, “When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?” Little Amy raised her hand in the air and said, “Please Miss, I think it’s your […]
A preacher walked into a bar and called out to all the customers who were busily engaged supping on their beers, “Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up”. Well, everybody in the bar stood up, except for a drunk who was standing over in the far corner. The […]
I do love the Irish way of thinking, don’t you? I mean, everything in life seems to have a moral or a purpose and whatever happens… well it happens. Take for example this classic bit of Irish philosophy… In life, there are only two things to worry about, either you […]
Have you ever wondered, do dogs go to Heaven? I know this is a question that a lot of people have pondered over the years and being “man’s best friend” and for many of us a part of the family, we would like to think that dogs go to Heaven […]
A five year old boy was spending the day with his Grandmother and was playing with his toys in her bedroom while his Grandmother was dusting. He looked up and said, “Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend now that Grandpa has gone to heaven?” His Grandmother replied, “Oh […]
Do you know the difference between Heaven and Hell? This is something most Europeans will understand and hopefully find really amusing, but I guess it depends where you come from and whether you can see the funny side. Heaven is a place where the police are English, the chefs are […]
A teacher was telling her class about whales and said that even though a whale is a very large mammal, it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human, because the throat of a whale is very small. A young girl in the class put her hand up […]
Three Italian nuns died and went to heaven. Sure enough, St. Peter was there to greet them at the Pearly Gates. He said to the Italian nuns, “Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives down on Earth, that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to Earth […]