Einstein dies and as luck would have it, he has a chance of getting into heaven. He waits in line for a while at the pearly gates for someone to let him in, and then finally Saint Peter turns up. Saint Peter says to him, “You look like Einstein, but […]
Jokes tagged as: heaven
13 posts
Little Tommy came home from school one day, and found his pet chicken dead. It was just laying on the ground with it’s legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained to Tommy that the chicken had died, he was going to heaven, and […]
One day, three nuns died and before long they were standing outside the pearly gates of heaven waiting to get in. Saint Peter approached them, and asked the first nun, “Do you know who the first man was on Earth?” The first nun said, “Ummm, that’s a difficult question, would […]
One day, while walking down the street, Susan, who was a highly successful woman executive, was tragically hit by a bus and killed. Her soul arrived up in Heaven, where she was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. “Greetings Susan, welcome to Heaven,” said Saint Peter. “Before […]
An engineer dies, goes up to heaven and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, I see that you are an engineer. I’m sorry, but you have come to the wrong place.” So, the engineer heads downstairs, lots of them, mile after mile, hundreds […]
A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter, I have a question that has haunted me all of my days on earth…
Forty gypsies arrive at the Pearly Gates in their MBW’s, Trucks and caravans. St Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God, saying: “I’ve got 40 travellers here. Can I let them in?” God replies “We are over our quota on Gypsies. Go back out to the Pearly Gates […]
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The man said, “I do, Father.” The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.” Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to […]
Jesus was strolling through Heaven when he saw an old man sitting on a cloud, staring into the distance. “Old man,” said Jesus, “this is Heaven! Why are you so sad?” The old man didn’t bother to turn as he said, I’ve been looking for my son and haven’t been […]
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and […]