The Best Funny Guinness Jokes

23 posts

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/guinness-beer-drink-dark-caramel-4394447/We have a lot of Guinness jokes here, probably because we have over 200 Irish jokes on The Laughline and we know how much Irishmen love to drink Guinness.

There is something special about the dark stout with the creamy white head, and it’s the topic of so many great Irish jokes. We hope you enjoy the selection that we have here for you.


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The Brothel

Murphy and Paddy were sitting at a pub, drinking Guinness while watching the comings and goings at the brothel across the street. They watched as a Baptist minister walked into […]

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Olives

Murphy walked into a bar and ordered a Martini, followed by another Martini. After each Martini, Murphy would remove the olives and place them in a jar. He kept this […]

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Coincidences

Paddy, Murphy and Seamus were drinking in their local pub and after a few pints of Guinness their discussion somehow turned to the topic of  coincidences. Paddy said to the […]

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The Raffle

Don’t you love it when you are caught unprepared and asked to buy tickets for the raffle. So, one evening, on his way home from work, Paddy popped into his […]

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A European Tourist In Ireland

A European tourist had been travelling through Ireland, but he got lost and decided to stop in an Irish village to ask for directions. He saw two old men who […]

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Paddy And The Genie In The Bottle

Paddy was walking along the beach one day, when he saw an old bottle laying in the sand. He picked up the bottle and started to brush it off, when […]

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A Bit Of Trouble

It was a quiet day in an English pub, and a few local lads felt like starting a bit of trouble. Well just then Paddy, who was an Irishman who […]

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Two Irishmen Adrift

Two Irishmen, Patrick and Michael, had been shipwrecked after their ship caught fire and sank and now they were adrift on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean, following […]

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Only Beer Drinkers Would Understand

This is a joke that only beer drinkers would understand. Of course it’s an old joke too – what do you expect? The old jokes are the best, that’s why […]

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Poisonous Mushrooms

“I was married 3 times” explained Paddy to Seamus, a newly discovered drinking partner, “and I’ll never marry again”. After another long swig of his pint of Guinness, Paddy continued. […]