A young man was shopping for a few items in the grocery store when he noticed an elderly lady following him around. He thought nothing of it, ignored her and carried on shopping, but he couldn’t help but notice that whichever aisle he was in, she was there close behind […]
The Best Funny Grocery Store Jokes
16 posts
We have some great funny Grocery Store Jokes here for you and hope that you enjoy them.
Anything can happen in the grocery store, whether it’s bumping into strange people or customers having conversations at the checkout.
See also our collection of Supermarket Jokes, we have some good ones there too.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.rawpixel.com/image/448387/free-photo-image-supermarket-grocery-food
A greengrocer’s daughter named Lucy Had melons that were large, ripe and juicy She got plenty of stares As she showed off her wares And it sure was a sight to see An original Limerick by The Laughline Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/face-melon-red-summer-beauty-1461610/
A grocer put up a sign outside his store that read “Eggplants. 25 cents each or three for a dollar”. All day long, customers came in exclaiming, “That is ridiculous! I should get four eggplants for a dollar!” Meekly the grocer gave in and packaged four eggplants for them. The […]
A young boy was waiting outside the grocery store while his mother was doing the shopping. While he was waiting, he was approached by a man who asked him, “Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?” The young boy replied, “Sure Mister! Just go straight down this […]
Susan had been feeling poorly with the flu earlier in the month and had sent her husband out shopping for groceries at her local natural foods store. Susan had given him a carefully prepared shopping list, which contained the items she required to maintain the strict diet the doctor had […]
A man walked up to the cashier in a New Mexico grocery store and asked rudely, “Hey, how much for these jalapeño peppers?” He pronounced it “joe-la-pen-oh” not “ha-la-peen-yo“. The cashier said to him politely, “Sir, that’s not what those peppers are called”. The man replied, “Listen, buddy, this is […]
Doctor Johnson had the reputation of helping couples to increase the joy in their sex life. However, he promised only to take a case if he felt that he could help a couple who came to him to try and find a solution to their problems. The Browns came to […]
Roger had an elderly duck that wasn’t eating lately, so he took his old duck to the vet as he was concerned about it. The vet explained that as ducks get older, their upper bills grow down over their lower bills and make it difficult for the animal to pick […]
When you next open a can of Carnation milk for your recipes, just smile and think of this… A little old lady from North Carolina had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk. A farmer’s life is rarely easy, and she had […]
Little Johnny and his dad went to the grocery store. While they were in line at the checkout counter, Little Johnny says to his dad, “Dad, look at that man in front of us, daddy, he’s fat!” His dad notices the man, but politely tells Johnny, “That’s not a nice […]
This is a funny story about Joe’s boat. Now Joe kept pretty much to himself and he owned an old dilapidated boat. His identical twin brother John lived on the other side of town, but unlike Joe, John wasn’t a loner, he was married. The two brothers hadn’t seen much […]
Have you ever wondered what happens if you get a new credit card and as so many of us do, you forget to sign the back of it? A few days ago I went to the grocery store for my weekly shop, and after all the items I had bought […]