A grocer put up a sign outside his store that read “Eggplants. 25 cents each or three for a dollar”. All day long, customers came in exclaiming, “That is ridiculous! I should get four eggplants for a dollar!” Meekly the grocer gave in and packaged four eggplants for them. The […]
The Best Funny Grocery Store Jokes
A young boy was waiting outside the grocery store while his mother was doing the shopping. While he was waiting, he was approached by a man who asked him, “Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?” The young boy replied, “Sure Mister! Just go straight down this […]
A man walks up to a cashier in a New Mexico grocery store and asks rudely, “Hey, how much for these jalapeño peppers?” He pronounces it “joe-la-pen-oh” not “ha-la-peen-yo“. The cashier says, “Sir, that’s not what those peppers are called”. The man replies, “Listen, buddy, this is America, and I […]
Doctor Johnson had the reputation of helping couples to increase the joy in their sex life. However, he promised only to take a case if he felt that he could help them. The Browns came to see the doctor as they felt that their sex life had become rather mundane […]
Roger had an elderly duck that wasn’t eating lately, so he took his old duck to the vet as he was concerned about it. The vet explained that as ducks get older, their upper bills grow down over their lower bills and make it difficult for the animal to pick […]
When you next open a can of Carnation milk for your recipes, just smile and think of this… A little old lady from North Carolina had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk. A farmer’s life is rarely easy, and she had […]
Little Johnny and his dad went to the grocery store. While they were in line at the checkout counter, Little Johnny says to his dad, “Dad, look at that man in front of us, daddy, he’s fat!” His dad notices the man, but politely tells Johnny, “That’s not a nice […]
This is a story about Joe’s boat. Now Joe kept pretty much to himself and he owned an old dilapidated boat. His identical twin brother John lived on the other side of town, but unlike Joe, John wasn’t a loner, he was married. The two brothers hadn’t seen much of […]
Have you ever wondered what happens if you get a new credit card and as so many of us do, you forget to sign the back of it? A few days ago I went to the grocery store for my weekly shop, and after all the items I had bought […]
A customer at Abraham’s Gourmet Grocery store marveled at the proprietor’s quick wit and intelligence. “Tell me, Abraham, what makes you so smart?” “I wouldn’t share my secret with just anyone,” Abraham replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won’t hear, “But since you’re a good and faithful customer, […]