This is a story about old men and golf that was emailed to me by an old golfing friend some years ago. If you are of a certain age and if you are from Florida or have played golf there, Florida being the “Snowbird zone” where wealthy people spend their […]
The Best Funny Grass Jokes
21 posts
Grass jokes is a bit of a strange topic I know, but when you think of it, there are lots of funny stories about grass in people’s gardens and yards as well as stories about drugs, with “grass” being slang for Cannabis of course.
A “grass” is also slang for someone who gives evidence to the police, so adding this all together, we have lots of funny grass jokes to add to our collection, which we hope you enjoy.
Got any more jokes you think we might like? Please let us know via Twitter or our Facebook Group/Page. Just search for “TheLaughline”.
Meanwhile, I had better get back to mowing the lawn, another source of funny grass jokes.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.pxfuel.com/en/free-photo-jnpcq
A rainy Summer day like today always makes me think back to when our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run. My wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed, but I always had something else to take care of first. Things like the shed, the boat, making […]
Seamus the blacksmith from a small village in Galway, went to see the doctor with a badly damaged foot. The injury looked really painful and Seamus’s foot had a large black and purple bruise on it. The doctor was surprised, for Seamus was usually such a careful man. I guess […]
A man was not paying attention while he was driving down the road, when the car he was driving skidded on the grass at the side of the road, ending up going off the road, down into a ditch and hitting a tree. The collision left the front of a […]
Little Jenny was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating in the grass. “Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?” she asked. “They’re mating, Jenny” he replied. Jenny went closer so she could get a better look at what the two spiders were doing in the grass. […]
A man was walking down the road one day when he saw a sign in front of a house that read “TALKING DOG FOR SALE”. The sign raised his curiosity, as you might exect, so he walked up the path to the house and rang the doorbell. The owner opened […]
A group of American tourists were on a sightseeing tour of Europe and were traveling through Holland on a tour bus. One of their sightseeing stops was at a small cheese farm, where a young guide showed them through the process of cheese making. The young guide explained that on […]
Imagine this winter scene one cold and frosty morning in a local park. A little old lady was walking her dog around a lake on a cold winter morning and the lake was still frozen. All of a sudden, her little dog spotted a duck that was walking on the […]
I bet that all school teachers dread having a class that has a smart arse kid like Little Johnny. Smart arse kids like Little Johnny always seem to come out on top, yet they are always causing trouble and are full of wise-cracks, intended to wind a teacher up to […]
When Paddy’s lawn mower broke down and wouldn’t work, his wife, Siobhan, kept hinting to him that he should get it fixed as the grass on their lawn was starting to get really long. Somehow though, Paddy always had something else to take care of. First it was his truck, […]
In the beginning, God created the earth, but thousands of years later, mankind decided that nicely manicured lawns were an improvement on the natural environment that God had created. Mankind, especially those who live on the outskirts of the large cities, the “suburbanites”, no longer wanted to look out on […]
“Digging In Clay” is a short poem that I wrote back in 2010 after working in the garden one day, digging in the sticky clay soil that we had where we lived. After it had rained, the clay used to be really heavy and sticky, doing it’s best to suck […]