The Best Funny Garden Jokes

40 posts

Image Copyright Tony Payne 2021I wonder how many people actually search for “garden jokes”? I’m sure there are many garden jokes that have been doing the rounds over the years, centuries probably, but you never hear of a collection of garden jokes do you?

Well, in an effort to be first at something, we have a category for garden jokes and you have just found it. We hope you enjoy this selection that we have for you and we are always looking for more jokes to make our visitors laugh. If you have any jokes you think we might enjoy, please either leave us a comment or post something on our Facebook group.


Image Copyright Tony Payne 2021. This is Penshurst Place in Kent, England. It’s a Tudor House where scenes from Wolf Hall were filmed.

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.publicdomainpictures.net/en/view-image.php?image=37547&picture=diary-illustration

A Blonde Woman’s Diary

Aren’t blonde women wonderful and a great source of material for jokes as well. This is a week in the life of a blonde woman, taken from her diary… Monday: […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Old_Lady_in_Pampatar_Beach,_Margarita.jpg

Little Old Lady

A policeman saw this little old lady who was walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. While he was watching her, he […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/78428166@N00/8479323489

Big Arse

If you love big arse jokes you are sure to love this one and the moral to this story is, be careful when telling your wife that she has a […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/photofarmer/8070448172

The Best Time To Plant Lettuce

A man who was serving time in prison received a letter from his wife, in which she wrote, “I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Traditional_BTE_hearing_aid.jpg

New Hearing Aid

An elderly man was out in his garden talking to his next door neighbor over the garden fence. “Hey Harry”, the man called over the fence, “I just bought a […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://pixabay.com/en/boy-bully-cartoon-child-kid-mean-2022427/

Little Johnny In The Garden

Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole that he had been busily digging, when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://pixabay.com/en/horses-wild-sanctuary-ranch-animal-739360/

The Great Livestock Giveaway

A retiring farmer decided that it would be too much like hard work to hold a livestock sale and so he decided to have a great livestock gieveaway, planning to […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.pexels.com/photo/animal-agriculture-farm-chicken-4196/

Straight Up Into The Sky

Little Tommy came home from school one day and found his pet chicken dead. It was just laying there on the ground with it’s legs pointing straight up into the […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mirror_img_0267.jpg

The Mirror

Can you imagine never having seen a mirror before? I can see you thinking already that this must be a terrible joke and to be sure you aren’t wrong there. […]