Murphy was headed up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, she could clearly see the light was on from their bedroom window. So Murphy opened the back door to go and turn off the light in the garden shed, […]
The Best Funny Garden Jokes
40 posts
I wonder how many people actually search for “garden jokes”? I’m sure there are many garden jokes that have been doing the rounds over the years, centuries probably, but you never hear of a collection of garden jokes do you?
Well, in an effort to be first at something, we have a category for garden jokes and you have just found it. We hope you enjoy this selection that we have for you and we are always looking for more jokes to make our visitors laugh. If you have any jokes you think we might enjoy, please either leave us a comment or post something on our Facebook group.
Image Copyright Tony Payne 2021. This is Penshurst Place in Kent, England. It’s a Tudor House where scenes from Wolf Hall were filmed.
A rainy Summer day like today always makes me think back to when our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run. My wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed, but I always had something else to take care of first. Things like the shed, the boat, making […]
Did you hear the story of the Irishman, the Englishman and the egg? An Irishman kept a chicken and every morning he would look in his garden and pick up one of his chicken’s eggs for his breakfast. One morning, he looked into his garden and saw that the chicken […]
This is for everyone out there who are kitchen challenged and don’t have a clue about cooking or food preparation. It’s called Cooking For Dummies! Some people make fine chefs and can conjure up the most amazing meals, but others really struggle in the kitchen. I’m somewhere in the middle, […]
Little Jenny was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating in the grass. “Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?” she asked. “They’re mating, Jenny” he replied. Jenny went closer so she could get a better look at what the two spiders were doing in the grass. […]
Bob was out in his back garden one day, trying to fly a kite. He threw the kite up into the air, to see the wind catch it for just a few seconds, before it came crashing back down to the ground. Bob tried this a number of times, but […]
When Halloween arrives it’s the time of year for decorating your garden or yard with carved pumpkins and we have some amazing and funny carved pumpkin pictures for you here. While the traditional carved pumpkin consisted of a face, in recent years pumpkins have been carved into more and more […]
This is a Top Ten List of extracts from actual letters sent to Housing Associations by renters. Whether these are actually actual (do you like that wording) or fabricated responses, we found them pretty funny and hope you do as well. I guess we have all written something without checking […]
When Paddy’s lawn mower broke down and wouldn’t work, his wife, Siobhan, kept hinting to him that he should get it fixed as the grass on their lawn was starting to get really long. Somehow though, Paddy always had something else to take care of. First it was his truck, […]
A woman was sitting in her front garden, enjoying the sun and reading a book, when she was startled by a car that crashed through her hedge and came to rest right in front of her. I mean a car crash that happened right in front of her, no wonder […]
Recipe For Chocolate Moose This is a relatively simple recipe for Chocolate Moose which should provide enough chocolate moose to cater for a decent sized garden party. While this is a relatively simple recipe as far as the number of ingredients and the preparation, some people have suggested that if […]
Have you ever stopped to think how women get to heaven? This short story (which is just a little bit rude) provides one answer to this age old question. A small boy walked into his mother’s bedroom and caught her standing topless in front of the mirror. “Mommy, Mommy, what […]