The lawyer’s office received a call from an elderly spinster, who told the receptionist that she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office. The elderly spinster replied, […]
The Best Funny Funeral Jokes
24 posts
Have you heard the story about the Irish Virgin? Oh come on, surely you have heard about the Irish Virgin? No? Well we will have to put that to rights won’t we. Ok, so in a tiny village on the west coast of Ireland there lived an old lady, who […]
It was the opening day for a new business and a friend of the owner decided it would be a nice gesture to send them flowers for the occasion. Well, the flowers arrived, but unfortunately, when the owner read the card that came with the flowers, it said “Rest in […]
When old Abraham died, his will provided $50,000 to pay for an elaborate funeral. After the burial, as the last of the guests departed the cemetery, his wife, Sarah, turned to her oldest friend, Naomi. “Well, I’m sure Abraham would be pleased”, she said. “I’m sure you’re right”, Naomi replied. […]
It was the day of Murphy’s wife’s funeral and together with his family and friends he was there at his wife’s grave for the burial service. The funeral service had barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, which was followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning that […]
A man had been fortunate enough to acquire two tickets to go to the Masters in Augusta, Georgia. As he sat down, another man came along and asked if anyone was sitting in the seat next to him. “No”, he said, “it’s empty”. “That’s incredible!” the man said, “who in […]
Dolores was a really fertile woman and as a result she ended up with a rather large family. It seemed to everyone that every time she so much as engaged in a frolic with her husband, she became pregnant. It wasn’t just the number of pregnancies that she had, she […]
A young man was really excited because he had just won a ticket to the Super Bowl in a competition. His excitement decreased however, as he looked to see where he would be sitting and realized that his seat was right in the back of the stadium. So, before the […]
Three members of the local church congregation were asked “When you are in your casket, with friends and congregation members mourning over you, what would you like them to say?” David said: “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great, […]
A man was leaving a cafe after eating breakfast, when he noticed an unusual funeral procession moving along the street in front of him. A hearse carrying a coffin was followed by a second hearse which was also carrying a coffin. Behind the second hearse, was a solitary man walking […]
A man was planning a funeral for his deceased father and told the undertaker that “only the best will do”. About a month after the funeral, the man got a bill from the undertakers for $70. He paid it, but then the next month he got another bill for $70. […]
A Dubliner had lived in County Cork for a number of years, but unfortunately he died without a penny to his name.. Two of his neighbours from Cork went around from house to house collecting money for the deceased Dubliner so that he could be given a decent funeral. “Excuse […]