A man had been fortunate enough to acquire two tickets to go to the Masters in Augusta, Georgia. As he sat down, another man came along and asked if anyone was sitting in the seat next to him. “No”, he said, “it’s empty”. “That’s incredible!” the man said, “who in […]
Jokes tagged as: Funeral Jokes
15 posts
Dolores was a really fertile woman and ended up with a rather large family. It seemed that every time she so much as engaged in a frolic with her husband, she became pregnant. It wasn’t just the number of pregnancies that she had, she also gave birth to twins and […]
Three members of the local church congregation were asked “When you are in your casket, with friends and congregation members mourning over you, what would you like them to say?” David said: “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great, […]
A man was leaving a cafe after eating breakfast, when he noticed an unusual funeral procession moving along the street in front of him. A funeral Coffin was followed by a second one. Behind the second coffin, was a solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was a […]
A man was planning a funeral for his deceased father and told the undertaker that “only the best will do”. About a month after the funeral, the man got a bill from the undertakers for $70. He paid it, but then the next month he got another bill for $70. […]
A Dubliner went to live in Cork but unfortunately he died. Two Corkmen went around from house to house collecting money for the deceased Dubliner so that he could be given a decent funeral. “Excuse me, Sir”, they asked one old Corkman, “would you contribute a Euro to bury a […]
Murphy didn’t have long to live, and his four children were gathered around his deathbed. As the eighty-year-old Irishman seemed to doze off in a blissful sleep, the children started to discuss the plans for his funeral. One of his children wanted to spend a thousand Euros for a coffin. […]
Mike was a keen golfer. He was teeing up for a very difficult shot, when at that moment a funeral procession went by. Mike stopped, stood still with his hat over his heart, and bowed his head in respect. His golfing partner looked at him and said, “Mike, that was […]
A woman goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband’s funeral. She tells the director that she wants her husband to be buried in a dark blue suit. He asks, “Wouldn’t it just be easier to bury him in the black suit that he’s wearing?” “No,” she […]
Two elderly Irishmen, Paddy & Mick, met up on the way to the funeral of a friend. Eamonn had been one of their longtime buddies, and he was thought to have accumulated much wealth during his lifetime. The church was packed for the funeral service, as Eamonn had been a […]
