Three members of the local church congregation were asked “When you are in your casket, with friends and congregation members mourning over you, what would you like them to say?” David said: “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great, […]
Jokes tagged as: Funeral Jokes
13 posts
A man was leaving a cafe after eating breakfast, when he noticed an unusual funeral procession moving along the street in front of him. A funeral Coffin was followed by a second one. Behind the second coffin, was a solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was a […]
A man was planning a funeral for his deceased father and told the undertaker that “only the best will do”. About a month after the funeral, the man got a bill from the undertakers for $70. He paid it, but then the next month he got another bill for $70. […]
A Dubliner went to live in Cork but unfortunately he died. Two Corkmen went around from house to house collecting money for the deceased Dubliner so that he could be given a decent funeral. “Excuse me, Sir”, they asked one old Corkman, “would you contribute a Euro to bury a […]
Murphy didn’t have long to live, and his four children were gathered around his deathbed. As the eighty-year-old Irishman seemed to doze off in a blissful sleep, the children started to discuss the plans for his funeral. One of his children wanted to spend a thousand Euros for a coffin. […]
Mike was a keen golfer. He was teeing up for a very difficult shot, when at that moment a funeral procession went by. Mike stopped, stood still with his hat over his heart, and bowed his head in respect. His golfing partner looked at him and said, “Mike, that was […]
A woman goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband’s funeral. She tells the director that she wants her husband to be buried in a dark blue suit. He asks, “Wouldn’t it just be easier to bury him in the black suit that he’s wearing?” “No,” she […]
Two elderly Irishmen, Paddy & Mick, met up on the way to the funeral of a friend. Eamonn had been one of their longtime buddies, and he was thought to have accumulated much wealth during his lifetime. The church was packed for the funeral service, as Eamonn had been a […]
A couple’s happy married life almost went on the rocks, because of old Aunt Emma who was living with them. For seventeen long years, old Aunt Emma lived with them, and she was always crotchety, and always demanding, and she had made their life a living hell. Pretty much, their […]
A man is paying a visit to his Italian neighbor who just had a very serious traffic accident and is in hospital. He doesn’t look too good, with his arms and legs in plaster, completely wrapped in a bandage, tons of hoses and infusions. In fact he looks rather like […]
