A farmer’s wife was at her lawyer’s, seeking advice about getting a divorce. The lawyer asked her why she wanted to get a divorce, so the farmer’s wife replied, “My husband makes excessive sexual demands on me, Mr. Bakewell”. “How do you mean?” her lawyer asked, not having heard this […]
The Best Funny Farmer Jokes
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We have a great collection of the best funny Farmer Jokes here for you, hopefully there is some good material for you to use if you have to give a speech about farming or farmers.
Farmers, farmhands and other country folk lend themselves readily to a whole plethora of jokes, whether it’s to do with their accents, life down on the farm, or the farm and it’s animals.
I hope you enjoy our collection of Farmer Jokes. Feel free to share on social media using the links on every page.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://picryl.com/media/amish-farmer-and-his-team-of-draft-horses-lancaster-pennsylvania-1
This joke about a young farmer would make a great farming joke for speeches. I can almost hear the roars of laughter in the room. The young farmer made an appointment with the local doctor, regarding sexual problems he was having with his young wife. “Now listen, John”, the doctor […]
Paddy and Seamus decided to go for a motorcycle ride one sunny but frosty day in early Spring. They had been driving through the countryside for a while when Paddy, who was sitting behind Seamus, called out to him. “Seamus … Seamus … the wind is so cold it’s cutt’n […]
A Midwest dairy farmer was conducting a tour of his farm to a group of folks from the city, who were on a tour of the Midwest and like a lot of city folk, most of them had never seen a farm before. While he was describing to them all […]
A farmer was at a diner one day having lunch, when he noticed an old friend of his who was also dining there. What really caught the farmer’s attention, was that his friend was wearing an earring. The farmer knew that his old friend was a fairly conservative fellow, so […]
Did you hear the story about Paddy’s donkey? Well, Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for €100. The farmer agreed that he would deliver the donkey to Paddy the following day. In the morning, the farmer arrived at Paddy’s place and told him, “Sorry Paddy, but I have some […]
Here’s a good question for you. Do you know who invented the car backup sensor? I bet you think it had to be Ford, maybe General Motors or another of the big American automobile manufacturers. Maybe you think it was one of the European innovators like Mercedes Benz, or annovation […]
The Irish Government Department of wages sent a representative out to interview Feargus, who owned a small farm in County Cork, claiming that he had not been paying proper wages to his staff. “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them”, the representative demanded. “Well”, […]
An Irish farmer had a mule whose ears were so long, that every time he put him into the stable, the mule grazed his ears on the top of the doorway. So the farmer decided to knock six inches off the wall over the doorway. “Why don’t you take away […]
A Texas farmer was going door to door in the neighborhood, selling peaches that he had grown on his farm. He knocked on one door and a shapely 40 something gorgeous woman opened it, dressed in a very sheer negligee. He raised his basket up to show her the peaches […]
Seamus and Patrick were walking through the woods when they came across this big deep hole in the ground. Now this didn’t look like any ordinary hole in the ground. It was really big and it also looked like it was really really deep as well. “Wow that hole looks […]
An extraordinarily handsome man who was also rather conceited, decided he had the “God given” responsibility to marry the perfect woman, so they could produce children that were beyond comparison. Having made this his mission in life, he began searching for the perfect woman. After a long but fruitless search […]