An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman applied for a job as chauffeur to drive the Rolls Royce for a wealthy lady. “I’m such a good driver”, said The Englishman, “I can go within six inches of a cliff edge without driving over.” “I can go within an inch of […]
Jokes tagged as: englishman
7 posts
Three lads, all a sandwich short of a picnic, got to talking amongst themselves one day in their local pub. One lad was from England, one was from Scotland, and one was from Ireland. They were talking about their home lives and their problems, and all three came to the […]
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games, but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal. While wandering around […]
An Englishman went to Alabama as he wanted to experience Christmas in the south. He was used to the usual white Christmases that you get in England (well if you live in the north of England you do, but that’s another story). What he really wanted to experience was Christmas […]
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were standing looking at a prize cow in a field. The Englishman says “Look at that fine English cow.” The Irishman disagreed, saying “No, it’s an Irish cow.” The Scotsman thought for a moment and then clinched the argument. “No, it’s a Scottish […]
This is a short joke that really only an Englishman would understand: A Geordie bloke goes into the hairdressers and asks “Can I have a perm please?” The hairdresser replies, “I wandered lonely as a cloud….”
A Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. “Look at their reserve, their calm,” muses the Englishman. “They must be British.” “Nonsense,” the Frenchman disagrees. “They’re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French.” “No clothes, no […]