Father O’Reilly and Father Nolan were two Catholic priests assigned to a church in a small rural town in Ireland. Father O’Reilly went to see Father Nolan one afternoon and said to him, “You know what Father Nolan. I am sick and tired of all this clean living. Tonight, why […]
The Best Funny Drunk Jokes
Late one night, a woman who was totally naked and obviously very drunk, jumped into a New York City taxi. The cab driver, who was an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He kept staring at her and made no attempt to start the […]
Have you heard about the Five Stages of Drunkenness? We all know that as you drink you get drunk and the more drunk you get, the stranger your actions become. Anyhow, enjoy this definition of the five stages of drunkenness and maybe try to remember this the next time you […]
A drunk man was in the court room and brought before the judge. Just before the court case was about to start, there was a loud commotion from up in the gallery. The judge angrily pounded his gravel on his table and shouted, “Order, order!” The drunk immediately responded, “Thank […]
So, there were these three men, sitting at a bar, arguing as to which one had the ugliest wife. Yes I know, it’s one of those male chauvenist jokes ladies, but please just see the funny side of it, or imagine it the other way around. I have met some […]
A man was not paying attention while he was driving down the road, when the car he was driving skidded on the grass at the side of the road, ending up going off the road, down into a ditch and hitting a tree. The collision left the front of a […]
A very drunken man got on a London bus late one night. He staggered up the aisle and sat down next to an elderly woman. She looked the man up and down and said to him, “I’ve got news for you. You’re going straight to Hell!” The man immediately jumped […]
Two old Irishmen were in their local pub one night and had both downed quite a few pints of Guinness. It was pretty obvious to look at the pair of them that they were both the worse for wear, sloshed, inebreiated (try saying that when you are drunk, let alone […]
Murphy came home one night drunk as a skunk, only to find his angry wife standing at the front door waiting for him. When I say she was angry, she was livid. She was literally seething, furious and whatever other nasty mean ugly words to describe her mood that you […]
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven! Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.pexels.com/photo/summer-sunshine-alcohol-drink-1862/
A drunk goes into a bar, walks up to the bartender and calls out, “Drinks for everyone, and one for you too”. The bartender serves everyone in the bar, including himself. “That will be fifty dollars, please”, he says to the drunk. “I don’t have any money”, the drunk says. […]
Have you ever wondered how drunk women know when it’s time to go home? It’s a funny thing women getting drunk at a party don’t you think. When they are together with their friends at a party getting drunk, they always seem to do some really stupid and embarrassing things. […]