So, there were these three men, sitting at a bar, arguing as to which one had the ugliest wife. Yes I know, it’s one of those male chauvenist jokes ladies, but please just see the funny side of it, or imagine it the other way around. I have met some […]
The Best Funny Drunk Jokes
A man was not paying attention while he was driving down the road, when the car he was driving skidded on the grass at the side of the road, ending up going off the road and hitting a tree. The collision left the front of a car in a terrible […]
A very drunken man got on a London bus late one night. He staggered up the aisle and sat down next to an elderly woman. She looked the man up and down and said to him, “I’ve got news for you. You’re going straight to Hell!” The man immediately jumped […]
Two old Irishmen were in their local pub one night and had both downed quite a few pints of Guinness. It was pretty obvious to look at the pair of them that they were both the worse for wear, sloshed, inebreiated (try saying that when you are drunk, let alone […]
Murphy came home drunk as a skunk, only to find his angry wife standing at the front door waiting for him. When I say she was angry, she was livid, seething, furious and whatever other nasty mean ugly words to describe her mood that you might come up with. It […]
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven! Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.pexels.com/photo/summer-sunshine-alcohol-drink-1862/
A drunk goes into a bar, walks up to the bartender and calls out, “Drinks for everyone, and one for you too”. The bartender serves everyone in the bar, including himself. “That will be fifty dollars, please”, he says to the drunk. “I don’t have any money”, the drunk says. […]
Have you ever wondered how drunk women know when it’s time to go home? It’s a funny thing women getting drunk. When they are together at a party getting drunk, they always seem to do some really stupid and embarrassing things. It’s funny that when this happens, they can always […]
A police officer walked up to two Irish drunks in Galway and said to the first, “What’s your name and address young man?” “I’m Paddy O’Toole, of no fixed address”, the drunk replied. The police officer then turned to the second drunk and asked the same question. “I’m Seamus O’Hare […]
A drunk staggers on board a bus in Ireland and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and Cork. “About 2 hours”, says the bus driver. “Okay”,says the drunk, “then how long is the trip between Cork and Limerick?” The irate bus driver says to the drunk, […]