A cop pulls up two Irish drunks, who have both obviously had a skinfull, judging by the way they are staggering along the road. The cop says to the first drunk, “What’s your name and address?” “I’m Paddy O’Day, of no fixed address.” The cop turns to the second drunk, […]
Jokes tagged as: drunk
13 posts
After a night of heavy drinking, two Irishmen stagger home from their country pub, intending to take a short cut through the graveyard. Being much the worse for wear, they decide to take a rest against a stone, where Paddy reads the inscription. “Do y’know, Michael, this fella here lived […]
Patrick Flaherty came home drunk again as he did every evening, just before ten o’clock. Now, the Missus was never too happy about this, so one night she hid in the cemetery that he passes on the way home, intending to scare the beejeezus out of him. As poor Patrick […]
A man who is obviously as drunk as a skunk, walks into the front door of a bar. He staggers up to the bar, somehow manages to seat himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it […]
Two women friends were walking home after a girl’s night out, when one turned to the other and said “Mary Jane, I’ve got to pee!”. Her friend Mary Jane said that she had to go as well, and as they were just passing the cemetery they both thought that this […]
A shy, innocent young man, who happened to be as drunk as a skunk at the time, walked up to a beautiful young woman in a pub and said: “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” “Yes I do, as a matter of fact” replied the beautiful […]
A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar, and he was getting drunk. Actually, drunk is not really an adequate way to describe his condition. He was rat-assed and practically legless, and it was obvious that he was drinking for a reason. A man came into the bar, and he […]
Just after I got married, I was invited for a night out with the boys. As much as my new wife pleased with me to stay in with her, to snuggle up on the couch and watch television, the thought of a raucous night drinking with my best buddies was […]
A man staggers up to the only other person in an Irish Pub and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course”, comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Ireland”, replies the second man. The first man responds: “Well blow […]
A drunk who smelled of beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a […]