I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a million Divorce Jokes out there, as although divorce is more often than not a horribly painful experience, there are many stories about divorce that show the funny side of it.
A farmer’s wife was at her lawyer’s, seeking advice about getting a divorce. The lawyer asked her why she wanted to get a divorce, so the farmer’s wife replied, “My husband makes excessive sexual demands on me, Mr. Bakewell”. “How do you mean?” her lawyer asked, not having heard this […]
The Best Funny Divorce Jokes
25 posts
I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a million Divorce Jokes out there, as although divorce is more often than not a horribly painful experience, there are many stories about divorce that show the funny side of it.
So, for divorce jokes where one or other partners take the money or seek revenge on the other, or jokes in front of the judge in court and many more, welcome to our collection of Divorce Jokes.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://pixabay.com/illustrations/family-divorce-separation-before-3090056/
After a long tiring day at the office, the woman commuter settled down in her seat on the train and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the man who was sitting next to her, pulled out his mobile phone and started talking in a loud […]
I’m not getting married again. I’ve learned my lesson. All those heartbreaks, all that grief, especially going through a messy divorce, it’s just not worth it. Instead, next time I feel the urge to get married, I’ll just find some woman I don’t like and buy her a house. Image […]
A woman was in the divorce court and the time came for her to be called up in front of the judge. Having asked her the usual questions, name, address etc, the judge then asked her why she was there. “Your honour, I want to divorce my husband”, she said […]
“I want a divorce!” Now that’s something a judge hears quite often in court I am sure, but not always under the same circumstances. Here is one divorce court story that is just a little bit different to the rest… A woman was in court and said to the judge, […]
You know what it’s like when a couple of men go out in their boat. After a while they start on fishing talk, just rambling on, covering practically every subject under the sun. It’s a man thing. One afternoon, Hank and Travis were out on the bayou, quietly sitting in […]
A young girl and her Mother were out shopping one day at the mall, when the young girl asked her Mother, “Mommy, how old are you?” Her Mother said “Sweetie, women don’t talk about their age. You will learn that later on in life when you grow up”. A little […]
Marjorie stood up before the judge in the divorce court. Judge: “You have asked for a divorce decree from this court. Madam, is that right?” Marjorie: “Yes Your Honor”. Judge: “And the grounds for your request is that your husband is too careless about his appearance. Is that correct?” Marjorie: […]
A prospective jury in a Dallas District Court were surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter that they were given, immediately prior to their being selected for a murder trial. Voluntary Manslaughter is an intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion, arising […]
Divorce is never a pleasant subject, but it’s the topic of many jokes and we have a good divorce joke here for you. So, a man appeared before a judge one day, hoping that he could get a divorce. The judge quietly reviewed a stack of papers and then asked […]
Their 30th wedding anniversary was due, so Charles asked his wife Margaret, what she would like to do to celebrate it. “Would you like a new fur coat?”, he asked her. “Not really Charles”, Margaret said. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?”, Charles asked her. “No thanks”, she […]
A lawyer was sitting in his office when his secretary announced that he had a new client waiting to see him. The lawyer’s new client turned out to be a very attractive young blonde mother. The lawyer called the young blonde woman into his office and asked her what he […]