Gladys Dunn recently moved into a retirement community in a small town out West. One beautiful sunny Sunday morning, she walked down the street to a church that was not far from her apartment. Gladys admired the large beautiful church building with it’s impressive stained glass windows as she stepped […]
The Best Funny Congregation Jokes
Father O’Reilly, the parish priest of a small church in the Chicago suburbs, received a call from the IRS. He answered the phone and the person at the other end asked, “Hello, is this Father O’Reilly?” “It is”, Father O’Reilly replied. “I am Jim Robertson and I am calling from […]
Father Murphy was being honoured with a retirement dinner, after 25 years service in the parish. A leading local politician who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make a presentation to Father Murphy and to give a little speech at the dinner. Unfortunately, the politician was delayed, […]
A minister was completing a Temperance sermon, telling the congregation at the church service in no uncertain terms all about the demon drink. With great emphasis, he called out to them, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river”. There […]
One Sunday morning, Ellen took a friend of hers, who was blind to church with her. While they were waiting for the Sunday service to begin, there were several children in the congregation who were fascinated with her friend’s Braille Bible. One of the adults came over to see what […]
There was an old priest from a church in Cork in the south of Ireland who enjoyed a drink of liquor now and then, but his real passion was peach brandy. Feargus, who had been a member of his congregation for many years, would give the priest a bottle of […]
Years ago in Ireland, there was a very anti British Catholic priest, who would let it be known in no uncertain terms exactly how he felt about the Brtish and he would tell his congregation every Sunday from the pulpit. After a while, the priest became so notorious, that the […]
The subject of the preacher’s Sunday sermon was “Forgive Your Enemies”. After a lengthy presentation, he asked the congregation how many of them were willing to forgive their enemies. About half of the congregation held up their hands. Not satisfied with this response, the preacher harangued on for another twenty […]
I guess that this may come as a surprise to those of you who don’t live in Las Vegas, but surprisingly enough, there are actually more catholic churches in Las Vegas than there are casinos. Given the number of gamblers in Las Vegas as any given time, you probably won’t […]
An elderly priest was talking to his young assistant one day about his revolutionary ideas for trying to get more people to come to church on Sunday. The elderly priest said to the younger priest: “You know, I was rather dubious about your idea to replace the first four pews […]
One day, Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. […]
Satan doesn’t always have his own way you know. This is a story about Satan and the old man. Just a few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were sitting in their pews and talking, as is quite normal in a small town church where everybody knows each […]