Father O’Reilly, the parish priest of a small church in the Chicago suburbs, received a call from the IRS. He answered the phone and the person at the other end asked, “Hello, is this Father O’Reilly?” “It is”, Father O’Reilly replied. “I am Jim Robertson and I am calling from […]
The Best Funny Congregation Jokes
10 posts
Welcome to our collection of congregation jokes. A priest or minister can never quite be sure of how a sermon will go down with the church congregation. This is especially true if the topic of the sermon is one where something the minister said could be taken in different ways.
We hope you get some good laughs out of our congregation jokes and if so please do share our site with your friends to get them laughing too.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.flickr.com/photos/rowanbank/6902291496
Father Murphy was being honoured with a retirement dinner, after 25 years service in the parish. A leading local politician who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make a presentation to Father Murphy and to give a little speech at the dinner. Unfortunately, the politician was delayed, […]
A minister was completing a Temperance sermon, telling the congregation at the church service in no uncertain terms all about the demon drink. With great emphasis, he called out to them, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river”. There […]
There was an old priest from a church in Cork in the south of Ireland who enjoyed a drink of liquor now and then, but his real passion was peach brandy. Feargus, who had been a member of his congregation for many years, would give the priest a bottle of […]
The subject of the preacher’s Sunday sermon was “Forgive Your Enemies”. After a lengthy presentation, he asked the congregation how many of them were willing to forgive their enemies. About half of the congregation held up their hands. Not satisfied with this response, the preacher harangued on for another twenty […]
I guess that this may come as a surprise to those of you who don’t live in Las Vegas, but surprisingly enough, there are actually more catholic churches in Las Vegas than there are casinos. Given the number of gamblers in Las Vegas as any given time, you probably won’t […]
An elderly priest was talking to his young assistant one day about his revolutionary ideas for trying to get more people to come to church on Sunday. The elderly priest said to the younger priest: “You know, I was rather dubious about your idea to replace the first four pews […]
One day, Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. […]
Satan doesn’t always have his own way you know. This is a story about Satan and the old man. Just a few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were sitting in their pews and talking, as is quite normal in a small town church where everybody knows each […]
A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.