One Sunday a young boy was constantly fidgeting and making noises in church during the morning service . His parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew, but were slowly but surely losing the battle. Finally, his father picked the little lad up and walked […]
Jokes tagged as: Church Jokes
27 posts
A vicar gave a really short sermon in just ten minutes one Sunday morning, which was about half the usual length that he spent talking when giving his sermons. He explained the reason why he gave a short sermon to the congregation, “I regret to inform you that my dog, […]
A little boy was walking home from church down a dirt road one Sunday afternoon, when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction. “Hello,” said the little boy. “Hi,” replied the little girl. “Where are you going?” asked the little boy. […]
A priest was given a new post at a church in Alaska. After a couple of years, the bishop went to visit him to see how his posting was working out. “How are you doing up here?” the Bishop asked the priest. “It’s really cold,” the priest answered. “If it […]
After church one Sunday morning, a family were walking home when the mother commented to her husband, “The choir was awful this morning”. The father commented back to her, “Yes it was, and the sermon was too long as well”. Their seven year old daughter added, “Well, you have to […]
You know you are in a country church in the South when: People wonder, when Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish. People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark. The preacher says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering”, […]
Three members of the local church congregation were asked “When you are in your casket, with friends and congregation members mourning over you, what would you like them to say?” David said: “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great, […]
One morning a man walked into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, splashed some on each leg, and then threw away his crutches. An altar boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he’d just seen. “Father, […]
The story goes that there was a Scottish painter and decorator named Hamish McTaggart, who was always very interested in making a penny where he could. One way that he found he could do this was to thin down his paint to make it go just a a wee bit […]
A little girl went to church with her mother for the first time. Soon, the little girl began feeling ill. “Mom,” she whispered, “I think I’m going to throw up.” “Go out the front door, dear, then walk to the back of the church and do it behind the bushes. […]
