You know you are in a country church in the South when: People wonder, when Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish. People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark. The preacher says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering”, […]
Jokes tagged as: Church Jokes
22 posts
Three members of the local church congregation were asked “When you are in your casket, with friends and congregation members mourning over you, what would you like them to say?” David said: “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great, […]
One morning a man walked into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, splashed some on each leg, and then threw away his crutches. An altar boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he’d just seen. “Father, […]
The story goes that there was a Scottish painter and decorator named Hamish McTaggart, who was always very interested in making a penny where he could. One way that he found he could do this was to thin down his paint to make it go just a a wee bit […]
A little girl went to church with her mother for the first time. Soon, the little girl began feeling ill. “Mom,” she whispered, “I think I’m going to throw up.” “Go out the front door, dear, then walk to the back of the church and do it behind the bushes. […]
Miss O’Leary, who played the church organ, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was a little old lady who was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One fine Spring afternoon, the parish priest came to call on her, and she welcomed him into […]
A man was in front of me coming out of church on Good Friday. The minister, who was standing at the door as always to shake hands with the parishioners, grabbed the man by the hand and pulled him aside. The minister said to him, “You need to join the […]
Church bulletins like any others can be full of spelling mistakes and other common grammatical errors. Here are some wonderful examples of church bulletins that can be taken the wrong way: Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. This afternoon services will be […]
A little boy was attending his first wedding, which was being held in a local church. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?” “Sixteen,” the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly. “How did you know that?” […]
One day, Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. […]
