A teenage girl, complete with fake tan, eyelashes and eyebrows, went to church, knelt in the confessional box and said, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned”. “What is it, my child?” the priest answered. The teenage girl said, “Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day […]
The Best Funny Church Jokes
33 posts
One Sunday morning, Ellen took a friend of hers, who is blind to church with her. While they were waiting for the Sunday service to begin, several children in the congregation who were fascinated with her friend’s Braille Bible. One of the adults came over to see what the children […]
One Sunday, a Priest was giving a special children’s Mass to the congregation. During the homily, he asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children’s Mass is crucial, but as you probably already know, asking children questions in front of a congregation can […]
During the Sunday Service in the church and right in the middle of his sermon, the visiting Minister suddenly stopped talking and called one of the ushers over to the pulpit. He pointed across to a man in the 4th row who had quite obviously nodded off, much to the […]
When they were on their way to a church service, the Sunday school teacher asked her little children, “Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?” One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping?” Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:St_George%27s_Church,_George_Street,_Dumfries.jpg
Seamus went to Sunday Mass one day and the priest almost fainted when he saw him, because Seamus had never been seen in church in all of his adult life. After the Sunday Mass had ended, the priest approached Seamus and said, “Seamus, I am so pleased you decided to […]
One Sunday a young boy was constantly fidgeting and making noises in church during the morning service . His parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew, but were slowly but surely losing the battle. Finally, his father picked the little lad up and walked […]
A vicar gave a really short sermon in just ten minutes one Sunday morning, which was about half the usual length that he spent talking when giving his sermons. He explained the reason why he gave a short sermon to the congregation, “I regret to inform you that my dog, […]
A little boy was walking home from church down a dirt road one Sunday afternoon, when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction. “Hello,” said the little boy. “Hi,” replied the little girl. “Where are you going?” asked the little boy. […]
A priest was given a new post at a church in Alaska. After a couple of years, the bishop went to visit him to see how his posting was working out. “How are you doing up here?” the Bishop asked the priest. “It’s really cold,” the priest answered. “If it […]
