A Catholic couple had been married for five years and were desperate to have children, but no matter how often they tried, how many different positions they tried and no matter how many books they read on fertility, the wife still failed to get pregnant. So, they went to their […]
The Best Funny Catholic Jokes
34 posts
One Sunday, a Priest was giving a special children’s Mass to the congregation. During the homily, he asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children’s Mass is crucial, but as you probably already know, asking children questions in front of a congregation can […]
Seamus went to Sunday Mass one day and the priest almost fainted when he saw him, because Seamus had never been seen in church in all of his adult life. After the Sunday Mass had ended, the priest approached Seamus and said, “Seamus, I am so pleased you decided to […]
Father O’Reilly had been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decided to take a vacation. He was curious as to what everyday life was like in the USA, so he decided that now was a good time to visit and see for himself, before he […]
Ah the demon drink, the root of all evil, or so the church would have you believe. A Catholic priest in Ireland was giving one of his parishioners his usual sermon about the demon drink and the problems it causes. “Abstinence”, the priest said, “is a wonderful thing, Patrick”. “Sure […]
One busy day, there are a lot of new arrivals at the gates of Heaven. A man arrives at the pearly gates, where St. Peter stops him, looks him over and asks him what religion he is. The man says, “I’m a Methodist”. St. Peter looks down his list, and […]
Two nuns were shopping for some items on a hot summer evening at a 7-Eleven store. As they were passing the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening Sister Mary?” The second nun answered her, […]
Here’s a question for you: “Where do the characters go when I use my backspace or delete key on my PC keyboard?” The answer is not as simple as you might think. The characters go to different places, depending on whom you ask: The Catholic Church’s approach to characters: The […]
Two Jewish men are strolling down the street one day when they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign that says, “Convert to Catholicism and get $100”. One of the Jewish men stops walking and stares at the sign. His friend turns to him and […]
This may come as a surprise to those of you who don’t live in Las Vegas, but there are actually more catholic churches than there are casinos in that city. Given the number of gamblers in Las Vegas, you probably won’t be surprised to learn that some worshipers at Sunday […]
