A Catholic priest in Ireland was giving one of his parishioners his usual sermon about the demon drink and the problems it causes. “Abstinence”, the priest said, “is a wonderful thing, Patrick”. “Sure and I know it is Father”, said Patrick, “If it’s practiced in moderation”.
Jokes tagged as: Catholic Jokes
31 posts
One busy day, there are a lot of new arrivals at the gates of Heaven. A man arrives at the pearly gates, where St. Peter stops him, looks him over and asks him what religion he is. The man says, “I’m a Methodist”. St. Peter looks down his list, and […]
Two nuns were shopping for some items on a hot summer evening at a 7-Eleven store. As they were passing the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening Sister Mary?” The second nun answered her, […]
Here’s a question for you: “Where do the characters go when I use my backspace or delete key on my PC keyboard?” The answer is not as simple as you might think. The characters go to different places, depending on whom you ask: The Catholic Church’s approach to characters: The […]
Two Jewish men are strolling down the street one day when they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign that says, “Convert to Catholicism and get $100”. One of the Jewish men stops walking and stares at the sign. His friend turns to him and […]
This may come as a surprise to those of you who don’t live in Las Vegas, but there are actually more catholic churches than there are casinos in that city. Given the number of gamblers in Las Vegas, you probably won’t be surprised to learn that some worshipers at Sunday […]
It was the middle of a hot summer and the air conditioning had broken down at a Catholic Church in Ireland. So they hired Seamus O’Sullivan to crawl around in the air ducts and figure out what was wrong. As Seamus peeked down through one of the old vents in […]
Murphy and Paddy were sitting at a pub, drinking Guinness and watching the brothel across the street. They watched as a Baptist minister walked into the brothel. Murphy turned to Patrick and said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.” A few minutes later, […]
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him, the other has the Star of David. It’s a busy street with many people passing by, who stop to look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat […]
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air. Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times. Roman Catholic: None. Candles […]
