Two old ladies were sitting on a bench in the garden at their old folks home when an elderly man approached them. Being in a mood for playing tricks, one old lady said to the other, “Here comes Harold, let’s have some fun with him”. The other old lady agreed, […]
The Best Funny birthday
15 posts
This should give you a chuckle, my brother’s birthday present. For his birthday, I bought my brother a combination fax machine and paper shredder. Either we hooked it up wrong, or a lot of people are faxing him confetti. Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Canon_Laser_Class_710_fax_machine.JPG
The old man was boasting to a group of young people about his fitness level and doing his best to show them that just because he was old didn’t mean he was useless. “Look at me”, he boasted, “I am really fit for my age. Every morning I do fifty […]
Melania Trump bought her husband a parrot for his birthday and told vice president Mike Pence, “This parrot is so smart! Donald has already taught him to mispronounce over 200 words!” “That’s impressive, all right”, Pence said. “But you realize that he just says he words, right? He doesn’t understand […]
His birthday was only a few weeks away, so little Johnny asked his father if he could have a mountain bike for a birthday present. His father said, “Son, Mom and I would buy you a mountain bike, but the mortgage on this house is $350,000 and your mother just […]
It was his wife’s 40th birthday and Liam watched as Elizabeth waltzed out of the bedroom, dressed in an old outfit that she dug out of the back of the closet. “Do you know”, she said to her husband, “I wore this on my 30th birthday! I guess that means […]
My Great Grandpa Eric was celebrating his 100th birthday and everyone at the party complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared, given his advanced years. “My friends, I will tell you the secret of my success”, he said. “I have been out in the open air day after […]
Timmy and his mother were in the doctor’s office for his pre-school physical examination. The receptionist, after completing his medical history form, asked him, “Timmy, when is your birthday?” “February 20th”, Timmy replied. “What year?”, the receptionist asked him. “Every year”, said Timmy, jumping up and down with joy. https://www.pickpik.com/kids-mom-child-child-portrait-family-kid-110683
Murphy, who (at least in his own mind) was ever caring and sensitive to his wife’s needs, bought her a pair of rubber gloves for her birthday. When he later asked her how she was getting on with them, she said, “They’re really very good Murphy. When you’ve got them […]
Let me tell you about a wife’s 40th birthday and how things turned out. On her 40th birthday, his wife did a little dance and walked out of the bedroom, dressed in a really old red evening dress that she had found in the back of her closet. “I wore […]
My 45th birthday was a couple of weeks ago and when I woke up I wasn’t feeling great, not to mention the fact that 45 is halfway between 40 and 50. Once you reach 50 you are just bloody well old, so needless to say, having reached the point where […]
An really old man was celebrating his 115th birthday and he was being interviewed by a reporter for the local newspaper. During the interview the reporter noticed that the yard was full of children of all ages playing together. A very pretty girl about 19 years old served the old […]