Murphy was walking down the road towards Mulligan’s bar, when he was accosted by a nun who was standing on the step outside the bar. As Murphy was about to walk into the bar, Sister Marie called out to him: “Surely a fine man like yourself is not going into […]
Two Irishmen went into a pub and after ordering two pints of Guinness, took some sandwiches out of their pockets and proceded to eat them. Seeing what they were doing, the barman walked over to their table. “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here”, complained the barman. So, the […]
A man has been in hospital for 30 years when for no apparent reason, he suddenly wakes up from his coma. After waking up, he gets assessed by a team of specialists, who agree that his medical condition is stable and he will be able to go home. A few […]
One evening, on his way home from work, Paddy popped into his local pub for a drink. The barman poured him a pint of Guinness and asked him if he wanted to be in a raffle. “What’s the raffle for?” asked Paddy. “It’s for a poor widow with 13 kids”, […]
A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman, ” Can I have a gin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . […]
A duck walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, “Hang on! You’re a duck.” “I see your eyes are working”, replies the duck. “And I can see that you can talk!”, exclaims the barman. “I see […]
A drunken Irishman stumbles into the front door of a bar in Dublin and orders a Jameson’s whisky in a slurred voice. Knowing that this man, let’s call him Murphy, gets really obnoxious when he is drunk, the bartender says, “No way, buddy, you are way too drunk for me […]
As happens once in a while, and twice in a while if it’s a joke, the CIA loses track of one of its operatives. This time it was an Irish spy, so they called in one of their top spy hunters to try and locate him. The head of the […]
A man walked into a bar in Cork, in the south of Ireland, and asked the barman: “What’s the quickest way to Dublin?” “Are you walking or driving?”, asked the barman. “Driving’, the man said. “That’s the quickest way,” the barman replied. Image used under a Collective Commons License from […]
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of Calvados.
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