I went to the bar last night and saw a big woman dancing on a table. When I say big, I mean BIG! She was huge, and she was wobbling all over the place as she girated around on the table. I wandered over to her and said, “Good legs.” […]
Jokes tagged as: Bar Jokes
14 posts
I went out for a few drinks the other night, and was standing at the bar minding my own business, when this ugly woman came up behind me. She grabbed my rear and said, “You’re kind of cute. Have you got a phone number?” I said, “Yeah, you got a […]
A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular local bar, hoping to catch a driver who had been drinking. At closing time, as everyone came out of the bar, he spotted his potential quarry. This man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot […]
Four retired men are walking down the street when they see a sign that says, “Old Timers Bar – All drinks 10 cents.” They look at each other in disbelief and then go into the bar, thinking that this is too good to be true. The old bartender who is […]
A blind man is sitting on a stool at the bar, and he has had a few beers already. He shouts out to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” In a hushed voice, the guy sitting next to him says, “Excuse me, but before you tell that […]
The bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in comes four exuberant blondes. They head up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are […]
A pig walked into a bar and asked, “Do you serve root beer?” The bartender said he did. “I’d like one, please,” the pig said. After the pig had finished, he asked to use the restroom. After the pig left, another pig came in and asked for two root beers. […]
A pirate walks into a bar, looking all beaten up and in a bad way. The bartender says to him, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!” “What do you mean?” the pirate replies, “I’m fine.” The bartender says, “But what about that wooden […]
Three mice were sitting in a bar, drinking and bragging about how tough they were. The first mouse downed a shot of tequila and said, “I play with mousetraps for fun. I’ll run into one on purpose, and as it’s closin’ on me I grab the bar and bench press […]
A pirate goes into a bar with a wheel on his crotch. The customers all stare at him, but are afraid to say anything, after all he is a pirate. Finally, the bartender plucks up the courage to ask the pirate: “hey, you know you got a wheel on your […]
