We hope you enjoy this collection of funny bar jokes.
A man walked into a bar and said to the bartender, “A glass of your finest Less, please”. “Less? Never heard of it”, the bartended replied. “Surely you have?” the man responded. “No, really, we don’t stock it”, the bartended replied. “What is it? Some kind of foreign beer?” “I’m […]
The Best Funny Bar Jokes
27 posts
We hope you enjoy this collection of funny bar jokes.
Your friendly neighborhood bar or pub is the location for some of the best jokes, especially when it involves drinking.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/bar-pub-restaurant-drink-people-401546/
When you hear someone call out “Nine” as you walk past, you think it’s a good thing right? That’s not always strictly correct, as you will see from this short story. A man was meeting up with a friend in a bar, and as he walked in he noticed two […]
A man picked up a young woman in a bar and after a few drinks he persuaded her to come back to his hotel room. As you might assume, once they got to the hotel room, a heavy “rumpy-pumpy” session followed. When they were relaxing afterwards, he asked her, “Am […]
A drunk goes into a bar, walks up to the bartender and calls out, “Drinks for everyone, and one for you too”. The bartender serves everyone in the bar, including himself. “That will be fifty dollars, please”, he says to the drunk. “I don’t have any money”, the drunk says. […]
A blonde girl and her redhead friend met in a bar after work for a drink. While they were sitting there chatting, the 6 o’clock television news came on and showed a story of a man who was threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde girl bet the […]
Murphy was walking down the road towards Mulligan’s bar, when he was accosted by a nun who was standing on the step outside the bar. As Murphy was about to walk into the bar, the nun, who turned out to be a Sister Marie, called out to him: “Surely a […]
A man walks into a bar with a small dog on a leash. The bartender sees him and calls out, “Get out of here with that dog!” The man walks up to the bar and says to the bartender, “But this isn’t just any dog … this dog can play […]
A guy met this amazingly beautiful girl in a bar and asked her, “May I buy you a drink?” “Okay”, she replied, “but it won’t do you any good”. So the guy bought her a drink and they sat and chatted for a while, during which he just couldn’t take […]
I went to the bar last night and saw a big woman dancing on a table. When I say big, I mean BIG! She was huge, and she was wobbling all over the place as she girated around on the table. I wandered over to her and said, “Good legs.” […]
I went out for a few drinks the other night, and was standing at the bar minding my own business, when this ugly woman came up behind me. She grabbed my rear and said, “You’re kind of cute. Have you got a phone number?” I said, “Yeah, you got a […]