This is our collection of Australian Jokes. If there is one country that the British love to joke about it’s Australia, even though we love the country dearly and many of us Brits would love to emmigrate there.
There was a young man from Australia Who painted his bum like a dahlia Tuppence a smell was all very well But thruppence a lick was a failure. Not written by us sadly, one we read many moons ago and still find funny. Image used under a Collective Commons License […]
The Best Funny Australian Jokes
15 posts
This is our collection of Australian Jokes. If there is one country that the British love to joke about it’s Australia, even though we love the country dearly and many of us Brits would love to emmigrate there.
There is so much about Australia to joke about for a start. Whether it’s the “Crocodile Dundee” style bush hats with corks to help keep the flies off, or the kangaroos, koala bears or other wildlife, Australia has it all.
So welcome to our selection of Australian jokes, which we hope you enjoy and will help share with your friends.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/vectors/man-cowboy-silly-sick-army-160487/
Samuel and Rachel were flying over the Pacific Ocean on an airplane that was headed for Australia. They were off on a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the pilot announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very […]
An Australian walked into a pub and stood there at the bar, happening to stand there beside a Scotsman. The two of them got chatting, as you do when you are standing at the bar in a pub and supping a few beers. The Scotsman was talking away with with […]
As it’s clearly not politically correct to direct a joke at any particular ethnic minority these days, here is one ethnic minority joke that should upset just about everyone: An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Southerner, […]
An Irishman who looked like he was getting on a bit in years walked into a pub in Dublin, where he ordered three pints of Guinness. He then sat at a table in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each Guinness in turn. When he had […]
Sheila, an Australian housewife, had an accident in the bathroom one day when she got out of the shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped, did the splits and ended up suctioned fast to the floor. She yelled out for […]
Angus was a young Scotsman who decided to see what it would be like to live in Australia. He flew out to Sydney, where he found himself an apartment in Kings Cross and settled in. After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son […]
A middle aged woman from America who was still a spinster, wanted to get married, but she was only willing to marry a man if he had never been with a woman before. After several unsuccessful years of searching for the right man to become her husband, she decided to […]
These are supposedly real questions on an Australian tourism website. Now we all know that people from Australia are one of a kind. They don’t take stupid questions lightly and they have got a great sense of humour. That is definitely true with these questions about Australia, which are from […]
A Royal Navy minesweeper that was getting on in years and showing it, was cruising through a lonely stretch of the South Pacific when it was overtaken by a brand spanking new Australian cruiser. All the sailors on board the minesweeper were in awe as they looked at the shiny […]
A Texan farmer went to Australia for a vacation and while he was there, he met an Australian farmer. The two of them got talking about farming and the differences between their two countries. You must have heard of the expression “Everything is bigger in Texas”. Well, this Texan farmer […]
On a beautiful deserted island, in the middle of nowhere, the following people were stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman. 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman […]