Patrick & Feargus were on board a small chartered airplane when the pilot suddenly had a heart attack and they needed to make an emergency landing. “Don’t Panic”, Patrick called out, heroically. “I’ll land this baby!” So, Patrick unfastened his seat belt, got up and moved to the co-pilot chair. […]
Jokes tagged as: Airplane Jokes
18 posts
An aircraft that was carrying a full cargo of Pepsi was flying over Papua New Guinea when it had a malfunction and went down in the jungle. A few weeks later, the Pepsi Company, having sent out search planes to try and locate the crashed plane, finally located the wreckage. […]
I hate taking a bumpy flight, don’t you? A little guy gets on board his flight and sits on a seat next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him on the airplane and immediately falls […]
A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other in an airplane, flying from New York to Chicago. After a while, hoping to break the silence, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?” The […]
A man boarded an airplane in Sydney, with a box of crabs. A female cabin flight attendant took it and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator, which she did. The man advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, and proceeded to […]
An airline captain was helping to train a very pretty new blonde air stewardess on the airplane, guiding her through her duties as part of her work experience. The route that they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the […]
An airline employee with the last name of Gay boarded a flight with a free travel voucher. Soon after he sat down in the airplane, someone else came and claimed that he had the same seat assignment, so Mr. Gay moved down do an empty seat several rows further back. […]
The world’s first fully computerized passenger aircraft was ready for its maiden flight. The flight was fully sold out, but what was different about this airplane was that everyone on board was a passenger. The airplane was designed to fly without either pilots or crew. First, the airplane taxied to […]
An airplane had just taken off from Chicago’s O’Hare airport and once they had reached the cruising altitude, the captain began his normal after takeoff flight announcement. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight 4295, nonstop from Chicago to Newark”. The captain continued, “Our weather ahead […]
You are in charge of washing the airplanes at the company hanger. On this day, you hook the high pressure hose up to the soap suds machine. Then you turn the machine on. A minute later, you receive an important telephone call, and have to leave work to go home. […]
