Advice Jokes - The Best Funny Advice Jokes From The Laughline

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God And Nicely Manicured Lawns

In the beginning, God created the earth, but thousands of years later, mankind decided that nicely manicured lawns were an improvement on the natural environment that God had created. Mankind, […]

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Toothbrush Salesman

A man was searching through the classified ads in the local paper, looking for a job. His eyes were suddenly drawn to an advertisement for a toothbrush salesman. He figured […]

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The Crowded Waiting Room

An 86 year old man went to the doctors, walked into the crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The receptionist asked, “Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor […]

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Terrible Financial Advice

The first year university student came running in tears to her father, crying “Dad, you really gave me some terrible financial advice!” “I did what?” her father said, somewhat shocked […]

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Marital Advice

A lady teacher at the school where I work recently got engaged and as a friend and colleague I offered her some marital advice. “The first ten years are the […]

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Growing Tomatoes

A rather lovely woman in her 30’s loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red on the vine in her garden. One day, while taking […]

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Staying Together

A pastor was giving a sermon to his congregation about marriage and staying together. He asked his flock: “How many couples here have been married for one year?” A bunch […]

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Advice To Be Passed On To Your Daughters

If there was ever a list of pieces of sound advice to be passed down to your daughters, this has to be the best. Do you have any other words […]

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A Visit To The Rabbi

A Jewish man pays a visit to the Rabbi, “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.” The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?” The man […]

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Paddy And Bridget’s Wedding Night

Paddy and Bridget had just got married and were about to experience their wedding night in the bridal suite of a fancy hotel. Bridget was lying on her back on […]

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Release From The Mental Hospital

A patient was being reviewed for possible release from the mental hospital. At his interview, when they asked him what he would do if he was released, he replied, “I […]

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Field Of Cows

A city man was driving down a country road, when his car spluttered to a complete stop near a field of cows. The driver, getting out to see what was […]