An attractive young woman walked into an accountant’s office and said to him “I need help to file my taxes”. The accountant said to her, “Well madam, before we begin, I will need to ask you a few questions”. He proceded to get her name, address, social security number and […]
The Best Funny Accountant Jokes
11 posts
Murphy wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test with a local accountancy company, confident as he ever could be that he would get the job. The tester took Murphy to a small office, where he sat him down and started to ask him some questions. […]
An accountant dragged himself home from work and he barely made it to his armchair before he collapsed into it, exhausted. His sympathetic wife was right there with a long cold drink and a comforting word. “Oh my, you look really tired honey”, she said. “You must have had a […]
A business man was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager for a new division of the company which was in the middle of expanding. He devised a simple test, which he hoped would help him to select the most suitable person for the job. During the interviews, he […]
Whatever they do, have you ever wondered how accountants do it? Accountants do it by the book. Accountants do it within budget. Accountants do it to the bottom line. Accountants do it with double entries. Accountants do it between spreadsheets. Accountants are Certified to do it in Public. Accountants do […]
You have heard about counting sheep as a way to try and get to sleep when you are having one of those nights I am sure. Well, an accountant was having a hard time sleeping at night, so he went to see his doctor about his problem. The doctor invited […]
Two accountants were waiting in the queue in a bank, when there was a bank robbery. Without warning, a gang of armed robbers burst into the bank foyer and ordered everyone to get down onto the floor. While several of the robbers proceeded to take the money from the tellers, […]
An accountant recently paid a visit to the Natural History museum. While he was looking at the Tyrannosaurus Rex exhibit, he remarked to another visitor who was standing next to him, “Did you know that this dinosaur is two million years and ten months old”. The man asked him, “Where […]
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break in between procedures, and were discussing their work, in particular which types of patients were the easiest to operate on. The first surgeon said, “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered.” The […]
How many of us have had to put up with “The Perfect Worker” in our lives? You know the type: Always seen kissing the management’s rear end, making out that they are really good at their job, when in fact they are a waste of air and hoping that their […]
A young man had just finished business school and answered a wanted advert for a small business that was looking for an accountant. He went for a job interview, finding that the person who was interviewing him was a very nervous man who ran the small business, which he had started himself. “I […]