An elderly couple who had been married for more than sixty years, died as the result of a horrific car crash. Their passing was really tragic, since despite their advanced years, they were both still on good health, thanks to spending the last ten years eating only healthy food and […]
The Best Funny Accident Jokes
26 posts
Welcome to our accident jokes collection. We all know that accidents are no joke, especially when they happen to you!
But just like everything else in this world, there is a funny side to accidents, and we have here a great selection of the funniest accident jokes for you to enjoy.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/smart-automobile-speed-traffic-1348189/
An army private went to see the Medical Captain to get a new pair of glasses. The Medical Captain, thinking the man looked rather familiar, went through his record book of record and saw that the private had only been issued a new pair of glasses a month ago. He […]
So Paddy and Murphy were driving home from the pub, having spent the whole afternoon there, drinking one pint of Guinness after the other. Suddenly, Paddy started screaming, “Murphy, look out for the wall, stop the car, don’t hit the…” Well as you probably guessed, the car slammed into the […]
A witness to a car accident was in court testifying. The lawyer asked her, “Did you actually see the accident?” The witness replied, “Yes, sir, I sure did”. The lawyer then asked her, “How far away were you when the accident happened?” The witness replied, “Thirty three feet, six and […]
Paddy found out that his parents had been in a minor car accident, so he called his father to check that they were both ok. His father answered the phone and Paddy asked him what had happened. “I was driving and fell asleep at the wheel”, his father said, obviously […]
A man was not paying attention while he was driving down the road, when the car he was driving skidded on the grass at the side of the road, ending up going off the road, down into a ditch and hitting a tree. The collision left the front of a […]
Can you imagine waking up in hospital with no idea why you are there or what happened to you that caused you to be there? Well, this man woke up in hospital, all bandaged up so he could barely move. He didn’t know where he was at first, but then […]
I work for an insurance company and one day a woman called us as she wanted to report an accident and file an insurance claim. All too often this type of call is pretty much the same for me, day in, day out, but I had reason to remember this […]
These are actual statements found on motor insurance claim forms, where car drivers attempted to summarise the details of an accident in the fewest possible words. Some of these are VERY old, in fact I remember my Mother (who used to work for an insurance company) showing me some of […]
A state trooper arrived on the scene of a horrific accident where a blonde woman had just totalled her car a few minutes before. Miraculously, the blonde woman was able to pry herself out from the wreckage of her car without a scratch and was in the process of applying […]
A man was driving down a quiet country road, when suddenly, a rooster ran out into the middle of the road. The car hit the rooster with a loud BANG and although the man slammed on the brakes as hard as he could, it was too late, nothing could stop […]
A man was motoring down a country lane when he rounded a bend, his car came off the road and ended up in a ditch. Fortunately, a local farmer saw what happened and came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. The farmer hitched Buddy up to the […]