Murphy was walking home down a country lane when a car pulled up alongside him, stopped and the driver wound his window down. “Could you tell me the way to Balbriggan, please?” asked the driver, who from his accent was obviously a visitor from England. “Certainly sir”, Murphy said. “If […]
The Best Funny Accent Jokes
22 posts
If you enjoy Accent Jokes, you found our collection.
Hands up if you make fun of people’s accents and the way that they talk funny? I think we all do at times. Of course we are all foreigners in one sense, if we travel to another country or even just to another area of our own country.
In some countries like the UK, accents can vary significantly within as little as 20 miles. Many countries have varying accents and dialects across them, even if these aren’t noticeable to foreigners.
Here is a selection of jokes about people and their accents for you to enjoy. You might also enjoy our collection of Language Jokes.
You might recognise Inspector Crabtree, the French Gendarme from Allo Allo and who better to use as the image for this page.
A Geordie woman goes to the customer service desk at a garden centre. “Excuse me luv”, she says to the assistant, “have ya got a fern please?” “Yes madam, what variety would you like?” the assistant replied. “One with buttons so’s I can curl a taxi!” she said. Thanks to […]
An Australian walked into a pub and stood there at the bar, happening to stand there beside a Scotsman. The two of them got chatting, as you do when you are standing at the bar in a pub and supping a few beers. The Scotsman was talking away with with […]
A helicopter lost power while flying over a remote Scottish island and the pilot had no choice but to make an emergency landing. After a somewhat tricky but successful landing on a hill top, the pilot got out of the helicopter and made his way on foot to a cottage […]
It was the opening night of the latest production at the theatre and this production was a murder mystery play. A Scotsman went up to the ticket office, only to learn that the show was completely sold out. He found an usher and pleaded with him, in his Scottish brogue […]
Years ago in Ireland, there was a very anti British Catholic priest, who would let it be known in no uncertain terms exactly how he felt about the Brtish and he would tell his congregation every Sunday from the pulpit. After a while, the priest became so notorious, that the […]
There was a London lawyer in Scotland working on a criminal case, when he drove through a stop sign and got pulled over by a Glasgow traffic cop. The London lawyer thought that he was smarter than the Glasgow copper because he was a lawyer from London after all. Besides […]
Two Irishmen were walking along a street in London, browsing in all the shop windows that they passed. Paddy looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye. The sign read, “Suits @ £5.00 each, Shirts @ £2.00 each, trousers @ £2.50 per pair”. […]
A Chinese man got a job as a Garbage Collector in Southern Ireland and you can just imagine the chaos that followed with his accent. One day, he turned up at a house in a really rough area on the north side of Cork and knocked on the door. The […]
A man went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner and was told by the maitre’d that there would be at least a twenty minute wait for a table, so he would have to wait in the bar until he could be seated. So, while he waited for a table, he […]
Some years ago, the great scientist Albert Einstein was on a lecture tour of America and towards the end of the tour he was starting to really get tired or the daily lectures and meetings. “I am really sick and tired of all these meetings”, he moaned to his driver, […]
Chauffeurs are something special aren’t they. You get given a smart uniform, a flashy car to drive and keep clean, and you get paid for the privilege. An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman applied for a job as chauffeur, to drive the Rolls Royce for a wealthy lady and […]