The Best Funny Abraham Jokes

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Abraham. Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/cyprus-kelia-ayios-antonios-church-1363192/Are you ready for some Abraham jokes?

Good old Abraham, one of the first men in the Old Testament and featured in many jokes over the centuries. Actually, Abraham has probably been featured in hundreds of jokes since mankind learned to talk. He was probably featured in the first Joke Book that came hot off the Gutenburg’s printing press!

Of course there are other people called Abraham, including Abraham Lincoln. We have jokes about him too.

We hope you enjoy this hand-picked selection of jokes about Abraham and if you have heard them before, that’s because they are old, like Abraham.


Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pixabay.com/photos/cyprus-kelia-ayios-antonios-church-1363192/

Indian Restaurant. Image Used Under A Collective Commons License From: https://pixabay.com/photos/india-indian-indian-food-chicken-1481495/

Indian Jews

Two Jewish men were having a meal in a Indian restaurant in New York. Moishe thought for a minute, then turned to his friend Abraham and asked, !Hey Abe, do […]

Bethlehem Isreal Holy Land. Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Children_Street,_Bethlehem,_Palestine.jpg

On Vacation In The Holy Land

A Jewish American couple were on vacation in the Holy Land and sitting having a coffee outside a souvenir shop in Bethlehem. While they were sitting there drinking their coffee, […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://pxhere.com/en/photo/122199

Bagels And Cream Cheese

A young couple were worried about their three year old son’s physical development, so they took him to see doctor Abraham. With some hesitation and embarrassment, they explained that although […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.needpix.com/photo/930161/vatican-city-tower

The Jews Must Leave Italy

A few hundred years ago, the Pope made a decree that all the Jews must leave Italy. There was, as you can imagine, a huge outcry from the Jewish community, […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from https://www.pikist.com/free-photo-iaabq

Elaborate Funeral

When old Abraham died, his will provided $50,000 to pay for an elaborate funeral. After the burial, as the last of the guests departed the cemetery, his wife, Sarah, turned […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/16961193@N06/2267130257

Convert To Catholicism

Two Jewish men were strolling down the street one day when they happened to walk past a Catholic church. Outside the church was a large sign that said, “Convert to […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/sayoko/3992382102

Fish Heads

A regular customer at Abraham’s Gourmet Grocery store in Manhattan marveled at the proprietor’s quick wit and intelligence. “Tell me, Abraham, just what is it that makes you so smart?” […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://lv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Att%C4%93ls:Nicholas_I_on_his_deathbed.jpg

Old Abraham

Old Abraham, a Jewish man, had reached the end of his days and was dying. His family had gathered in his bedroom and were all standing around his bed to […]