These are actual statements found on motor insurance claim forms, where car drivers attempted to summarise the details of an accident in the fewest possible words.
Some of these are VERY old, in fact I remember my Mother (who used to work for an insurance company) showing me some of these about 40 years ago!
I haven’t seen these for a long time, so maybe they will be new to you or at least raise a laugh (which is our hope) Enjoy:
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
The pedestrian had no idea which way to run so I ran over him.
I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
These may be old, but they are still hilariously funny. It’s amazing how often we write something without realizing just how funny it sounds when you read it back.
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