A young boy went off to college, but about 1/3 way through the semester, he realized he had foolishly squandered the money his parents gave him.
He wondered for a while how he was going to get more money to help him to get through the rest of the semester, when suddenly, a lighbulb went on in his head, as he got an idea.
The boy quickly called his father on the telephone.
“Dad,” he said, “you won’t believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Rover how to talk!”
“That’s absolutely amazing!” his father said. “How do I get him in that program?”
“Just send him down here with $1,000,” the boy replied, “I’ll get him into the course Dad.”
So, his father sent the dog and the $1,000.
About 2/3 of the way through the semester, the money ran out again.
The boy calls his father, again.
“So how’s Rover doing, son?” his father asked.
“Awesome, Dad, he’s talking up a storm,” the boy replied. “You just won’t believe this though Dad – they have had such good results with this program, that they’ve implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!”
“READ!?” his father said. “No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?”
“Just send $2,500, I’ll get him in the class”, the boy replied.
And so his father sent the boy the money.
At the end of the semester, the boy had a problem, because naturally the dog hadn’t learned to talk, let alone read.
He realized that when he got home, his father would find out that the dog could neither talk nor read. So he decided to shoot the dog.
When he got home, his father was all excited.
“Where’s Rover? I just can’t wait to hear him talk and listen to him read something!”
“Dad,” the boy said, “I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Rover was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does”.
The boy’s father looked on, all excited, waiting for the news.
The boy continued, “Then he turned to me and asked, ‘So, is your Daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?'”
The father said, “Oh, shit; I hope you SHOT that lying son of a bitch?”
Ther boy replied, “I sure did, Dad!”
“That’s my boy!”, his Dad replied.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rottweiler,_tired,_2014-12-31.jpg