A young boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered the money his parents gave him.
“Hmmmm,” he wonders, “How am I going to get more money to help me to get through the rest of the semester?”
Suddenly, a lighbulb goes on in his head, as he gets an idea.
The boy calls his father on the telephone.
“Dad,” he says, “you won’t believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Rover how to talk!”
“That’s absolutely amazing!” his father says. “How do I get him in that program?”
“Just send him down here with $1000,” the boy says, “I’ll get him into the course.”
So, his father sends the dog and the $1000.
About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.
“So how’s Rover doing, son?” his father asks.
“Awesome, dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says, “but you just won’t believe this – they’ve had such good results with this program, that they’ve implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!”
“READ!?” says his father, “No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?”
“Just send $2,500, I’ll get him in the class.”
…And his father sends the money.
At the end of the semester, the boy has a problem. When he gets home, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog.
When he gets home, his father is all excited.
“Where’s Rover? I just can’t wait to hear him talk and listen to him read something!”
“Dad,” the boy says, “I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Rover was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does”.
The boy continued, “Then he turned to me and asked, ‘So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?'”
The father says, “Oh, shit; I hope you SHOT that lying son of a bitch?”
Ther boy replied, “I sure did, Dad!”
“That’s my boy!”, says his Dad.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rottweiler,_tired,_2014-12-31.jpg