Short Thanksgiving Jokes

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.needpix.com/photo/1361946/turkey-thanksgiving-happy-holiday-sign-illustration-cartoon-fallThanksgiving comes just once a year, and I guess that’s a good thing because most Thanksgiving jokes are really bad!

Here is a selection of some of the worst short Thanksgiving jokes that we can think of. If you enjoy them, please share this post with your friends.

If you find these jokes are REALLY bad, please share them with everyone just to annoy them!

If you have any more Thanksgiving jokes that you would like to share with us, please leave us a comment (form is at the bottom of this article).


If April showers bring May flowers, do you know what May flowers bring?

Pilgrims of course! (groan)


On the subject of pilgrims, do you know what their favorite kind of music is?

Plymouth Rock of course! (yes we know that’s terrible, keep going… it only gets worse)


You know that the pilgrims travelled on the Mayflower of course, but do you know what college students travel on?

Scholar ships of course! (that’s terrible)


Back to the pilgrims, and have you wondered why their pants were always falling down?

It’s because they used to wear their belt buckles on their hats.


How does a pilgrim get older?

He goes on pilgrimages!


Little Johnny was asked what he was thankful for at Thanksgiving.

His answer: I’m thankful I’m not a turkey!


My Grandma would always cook everything for special meals like Thanksgiving from scratch.

If she knew you were microwaving mashed potatoes from a tub she would be turning over in her gravy!


An elderly lady was at the grocery store looking at the frozen turkeys, but she couldn’t find one big enough to feed her family.

She asked an assistant if the turkeys got any larger.

He replied “No lady, they’re dead!”


We had a knock on the front door last night and the police came and arrested our Thanksgiving turkey.

They suspected fowl play!


The only one who isn’t hungry at Thanksgiving is the turkey of course. He is already stuffed!


Do you know what makes cranberries turn red?

Watching the turkey dressing of course!


Do you know what’s the best song to sing when you are preparing your Thanksgiving turkey?

“All About That Baste” of course, and you have to do a little dance to go along with it!


Speaking of dancing, do you know the official dance of Thanksgiving?

It’s the turkey trot!


What do you get if you cross a turkey with a centipede?

It’s drumsticks for everyone!


My Mom couldn’t serve the sweet potatoes as usual at Thanksgiving because I went and sat on them.

She is serving squash instead!


Do you know what Thanksgiving and Halloween have in common?

Well, aside from both being cold and damp, they have “gobble-ins” (groan)


And on the subject of Halloween and Thanksgiving having things in common, do you know what you would get if you crossed a turkey with a ghost?

A poultry-geist of course! (yup, these are really awful)


If you call a large turkey a “gobbler”, what do you call a small one then?

“A goblet”! (bigger groan)


We mustn’t forget the vegetarians of course… So when is it appropriate to serve tofu instead of turkey?

At Pranksgiving!


These Thanksgiving jokes are so bad (especially the last one) that my family told me to stop telling them.

I said that it would take me a while as I couldn’t just quit cold turkey!


Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.needpix.com/photo/1361946/turkey-thanksgiving-happy-holiday-sign-illustration-cartoon-fall

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