Sheila, an Australian housewife, had an accident in the bathroom one day when she got out of the shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor.
Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped, did the splits and ended up suctioned fast to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband to come and help. “Bruce, Bruce” she yelled.
Bruce came running and was gobsmacked to see his wife lying naked on the bathroom floor with her legs spread wide apart.
“Bruce, I’ve bloody well gone and slipped and bloody suctioned myself to the floor”, she said.
“Strewth”, Bruce said and tried to pull his wife up off the bathroom floor.
“You’re stuck fast Sheila. Hang on while I go across the road and get me mate Cobba”.
Bruce and Cobba came back a few minutes later, and they both tried to pull her up, but to no avail. No matter what they tried, poor Sheila wasn’t shifting an inch.
“No way. We can’t do it, let’s try Plan B”, Cobba said.
“Plan B?” exclaimed Bruce. “What’s that”?”
“I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel. We can break the tiles under her and release the vacuum”, replied Cobba.
“Spot on”, Bruce said. “While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her tits”.
“Play with her tits”? Cobba said, “Not exactly a good time for that mate..”
“No”, Bruce replied, “But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren’t so expensive”.
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