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School Absence Notes From Parents

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School absence notes from parents! We know children sometimes say or write things that come out all wrong, but as parents you ought to know better and at least be able to compose a simple absence note, for example an absence note to excuse your child from school.

Some of these absence notes that were written by parents just defy belief. These people not only breathe our air, they also vote! No wonder people like Trump get elected!

I don’t know quite how genuine these are of course, but they were supposedly written by parents of children in a Tennessee school district. The names have been changed to protect the parents, but the spellings have been left as they were:

My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. please execute him.

Please exkuce Mary for being absent she was sick and I had her shot.

Dear school: please ecsc’s Billy being absent on Jan 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

Please excuse Sue from jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Georgie from P.E. for a few days. yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

Harvey has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Juan was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Maria could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Simon will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school he has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Peter from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyre a, dir eathe), the sh**s.

Note: [words in ( )’s were crossed out. (love it!)

Please excuse Bobby for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.


Charlie was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.

{you know, this could be legit!}

I kept Jilly home because she had to go Christmas shopping because don’t know what size she wear.

Please excuse Sue Ellen for missing school yesterday we forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. we thought it was Sunday.

(Well I guess that’s original. You can only play that card once though)

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

Please excuse Jake for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

(I know the feeling, I have the same problem when I have a cold)

Please excuse Helen for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

(Lucky Gramps! I guess it’s legal in some counties in Tennessee!)

Bessie was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

(I guess that might also be normal practice in some Tennessee counties)

Please excuse Denise. She has been sick and under the doctor.

(Well it’s Tennessee. Seems to be a trait here)

Sally Anne was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Well, now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids. If these absence notes were written by the parents, Heaven help us!

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