This is a list of reasons why cookie dough is better than a penis.
I can’t for the life of me think of why anyone would want to create a list like this, it’s like comparing apples and pears (except neither cookie dough or a penis counts as fruit).
But, since someone has created a list, and you are here reading this (God knows why), I thought that I have better put pen to paper (or in this case fingers to the keyboard) and let you read it.
- It’s enjoyable hard or soft.
- It makes a mess, too — but it tastes better.
- It doesn’t mind if you take your anger out on it.
- You always want to swallow.
- It won’t complain if you share it with friends.
- It’s “quick and convenient”.
- You can enjoy it more than once.
- It comes already protectively wrapped.
- You can make it as large as you want.
- If you don’t finish it, you can save it for later.
- It’s easier to get the kind you want.
- You can comparison-shop.
- You know what the extra weight is from.
- You can put it away when you’ve had enough.
- You know yours has never been eaten before.
- It won’t complain if you chew on it.
- It comes chocolate flavored.
- You always know when to get rid of it.
- You can return it — satisfaction is guaranteed.
- It’s always ready to go.
- You won’t get arrested if you eat it in public.
- You don’t have to change the sheets if you eat it in bed.
- It won’t wake you up because it’s hard.
- It won’t get jealous if you pick up another one.
- You can tell your friends how much you’ve eaten without sounding like you’re bragging.
- It is very pliable.
- It’s easy to pick up.
- It never has an insecurity problem with its size.
Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ginnerobot/2703820132