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Ramblings Of A Retired Mind

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When you are retired and your mind often has nothing better to do, it can often ramble about and present you with lots of apparently random thoughts.

Being a Baby Boomer and also currently unemployed, which is rather like being retired, as you lose track of what day of the week it is etc, I thought these ramblings of a retired mind might be rather appropriate for today, whatever day it is of course…

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can’t afford one. So, I’m wearing my garage door opener.

I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn’t like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is “when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.”

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it “Pumping Rust”.

I’ve gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That’s when your chest is falling into your drawers!

When people see a cat’s litter box, they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?” Just once I want to say, “No, it’s for when I have visitors!”

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, “A Good Doctor”.

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do… write to these men? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they are cramming for their finals.

As for me, I’m just hoping God grades on the curve.

Enjoy Your Days & Love Your Life Because Life is a journey to be savored!

You might have gathered from some of the random thoughts that this is a very old joke. I believe I found the original back in the 1990’s and technology has certainly changed a lot since that time. I remember the days of clipping your cell phone onto your belt, and when I see people just holding theirs these days or having nowhere to put them, I wonder why they just don’t come back into fashion.

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