Two Blondes At The Tanning Salon

One day two blondes went to the tanning salon. The first blonde said to the assistant, ” A tan for two please!” The assistant said, “That’s ok, please take a seat”. She then filled out a form for them and asked, “are you two sisters?” They chuckled and replied, ” […]

An Argument In The Cockpit

A plane leaves Los Angeles LAX International Airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot joining him in the cockpit is Chinese. It’s the first time that they have flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate that there is a mutual dislike. Once […]

The Bible According To Kids

THE BIBLE ACCORDING TO KIDS THE STORY OF ELIJAH: The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah. the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar. […]

Tidal Wave

A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach when a tidal wave comes rushing towards the shore. Her grandson is playing in the water, while she is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, this huge wave appears from […]

Parish Visit

A new pastor was out visiting the homes of his parishioners, as the bishop had decided that more parish visits would be a good idea to help boost the congregation (and of course the church donations). At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer […]

Graduation From Harvard University

A young man had just completed his graduation from Harvard University, and he was so excited just thinking about his future. He gets into a taxi, and the driver asks him, “How are you on this lovely day?” “I’m in the Class of 2018 and I just graduated from Harvard […]

Donald Trump Dies And Goes To Heaven

Ok, so the chances of Donald Trump going to heaven are slim to none (and that’s being generous IMHO), but I couldn’t resist updating this old joke from the G.W. Bush era, as it’s even more appropriate. Einstein dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter says, “You look like Einstein, […]

Image used under a Collective Commons License from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Dont_know_whats_comin_(3926784260).jpg

Excerpt From A Pet’s Diary

Have you ever wondered what goes on inside the head of your favourite pet? If dogs and cats could write, these would likely be typical excerpts from pet’s diaries. Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary 8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite […]

Diagnosis

A woman rushes to see her doctor, hoping that he can give her a diagnosis of what her problem is. The poor woman is looking very much worried and all strung out. When the doctor is available to see her, she rattles off in a panic, “Doctor, take a look […]

The Bad News Or The Terrible News First

A Republican senator had been called to his attorney’s office without warning. His attorney had him sit down and asked him, “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” “Give me the bad news first”, said the senator. His attorney replied, “Your wife found a picture that […]