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Joe’s Boat

Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. His identical twin brother John lived on the other side of town, but unlike Joe, John was married, and the two brothers hadn’t seen much of each other in a few years. One day, Joe rented out his […]

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Drunk In The Bathroom

A drunk middle-aged man gets up from the bar, and staggers off to the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why […]

The Greatest Oxymorons In The English Language

An oxymoron is a figure of speech that contain words that appear to contradict each other. It’s often referred to as a contradiction in terms. As with other rhetorical devices, oxymorons are used for a variety of purposes. Sometimes they’re used to create a little bit of drama for the […]

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What Happened To You?

“Oh my God, bejesus! What on earth happened to you?” the bartender asked Kelly, as he hobbled into his local pub on a crutch, with one arm in a cast. “I got in a tiff with O’Riley,” Kelly sheepishly responded. “O’Riley? He’s just a wee fellow,” the barkeep said, surprised. […]

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Little Johnny In The Garden

Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole, when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Johnny?” “My goldfish died,” replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” […]

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The Abusive Parrot

David will never forget the year that he received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. The parrot just seemed to love shouting out abusive words. This parrot was a great talker, and every other word that it […]

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The Scotsman’s Caddie

One day, a scotsman decided that he would go out and play a round of golf. After standing a while on the green, he asked a boy standing beside him: “Would you be my caddie for today?” “Yes sir”, answered the boy. “You are good in finding lost balls?”, the […]

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Little Johnny And The Balloon

One day, little Johnny blows up a balloon, and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it, as he is liable to break something, but little Johnny just carries on flicking his balloon all around the house. “Johnny!” his mother screams […]

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Irish Mercenaries

Flanagan and Murphy are two Irishmen who had signed up as mercenaries to fight for the rebels in a South American republic. Now, captured by government troops, they face a firing squad. “Is there any last word you would like to say before you are shot?”, the captain of the […]

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A Dip In The Japanese Ecomony

With world trade suffering it’s ups and downs over the last year, Asia has suffered financially and there has been a dip in the Japanese economy. With this uncertainty that has hit Japan, the national banks have been struggling like never before. In the last seven days alone: Origami bank […]