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The Mental Health Hotline

Hello, and thank you for calling the mental health hotline. Please listen to the following options so we can direct your call: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, […]

Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream

Little Henry rushes home from school, opens the freezer and is in the process of scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen. She says, “Put that away Henry! You can’t have ice cream now. It’s too close to supper time. Go outside and play.” […]

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Bad Potato

I went out to this restaurant not long ago, and about halfway through dinner, I called the waitress over and said, “excuse me miss, this potato is bad”. The waitress nodded, picked up the potato, and smacked it. Then she put it back on my plate and said, “Sir, if […]

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In Line At The Pearly Gates

A minister dies, and he is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates to be admitted to Heaven. He has been there rather a long time, as there was rather a long queue of people waiting to get in, and he was becoming rather impatient. Ahead of him is this […]

The Laughline The Best Funny Jokes

Two Blondes At The Tanning Salon

One day two blondes went to the tanning salon. The first blonde said to the assistant, ” A tan for two please!” The assistant said, “That’s ok, please take a seat”. She then filled out a form for them and asked, “are you two sisters?” They chuckled and replied, ” […]

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An Argument In The Cockpit

A plane leaves Los Angeles LAX International Airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot joining him in the cockpit is Chinese. It’s the first time that they have flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate that there is a mutual dislike. Once […]

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The Bible According To Kids

Adults understand the stories in the Bible one way, but it’s a whole different world when you listen to Bible stories according to how kids interpret them. Here are just a few examples of how children, because of their limited vocabulary, and their limited experiences of life, respond to questions […]

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Tidal Wave

A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach when a tidal wave comes rushing towards the shore. Her grandson is playing in the water, while she is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, this huge wave appears from […]

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Parish Visit

A new pastor was out visiting the homes of his parishioners, as the bishop had decided that more parish visits would be a good idea to help boost the congregation (and of course the church donations). At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer […]

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Graduation From Harvard University

A young man had just completed his graduation from Harvard University, and he was incredibly excited, just thinking about his future, and all the opportunities that lay ahead of him. He gets into a taxi, and the taxi driver asks him, “How are you sir on this lovely day?” Ther […]